dream

i have a dream...
everyone does, dream as in dream of being or doing something...
some really wish they'de get rich...
as for the rich kids who spends alot they'de probably dreaming of having the coolest girlfriend ever...
some maybe both...some ppl jz wan to live life as it is...
some would love if they had everything...
n for those who are unfortunate they'de probably begging to god everyday jz to eat enough...jz to wear enough to not feel the cold...n maybe jz a simple dream that one day they might actually stop suffering...n i dun mean YOU...yeah..!!!YOU with ur fancy clothe n u wan more branded stuff...n YOU with ur food but u wanted lobsters n steak...n YOU, YOU there that jz got dumped, they got their families killed...n YOU, who only smile when u get ur ipod n laptop n brand new nike, when they would laugh so hard jz becuz they saw this plate of plain rice or even bread infront of them...sheesh isn't ppl nowadays hard to please...n US who are ignorant of their suffering n always thinks that we had the worst life ever...
everyone have dreams...
mine...i wud really want to backpack around the world...
not in a tour...not some fancy hotel stay...
only me, my backpack, my feet n the world...
to try things to know things to learn things from different ppl...
to see different aspects of their lives...the essence of different part of the world...
to conquer every adventure ahead of me...
to live life as life should be...FREE...
to understand others suffering like no others have...to help save or even to share a simple burden or to give what i could have...
if only i could journey into adventures, n write down every tales n stories of my adventures...to change lives...to help...if only i could...
to live life not as a man who worked all his life n earned millions when they have no stories or tales or adventure to tell or to share...
who could tell tales of my own adventure instead of telling tales of how OTHERS had their adventure...
well, i'll plan for my backpacking trip...i would hold on to my dream...
n i'm writting all down cuz when i have forgotten about my dream n started living a life like everyone would...ignorant...this would reminds me of my dream...
maybe after that i wud get a job or something...haha...gotta live real for once...but with a tale to share...life is a story...i wud like mine to be adventurous...
well if anyone who shares the same dream with me...plz do let me know...
kinda had enough of living in a mask...letting go is the only way to be free...
but its hard to let go hahaha...
to see the world, to feel it n to share it...

days before christmas

Oh dear, i haven't really wish anyone merry christmas here...
well, merry christmas...
anyways, celebrated cristmas eve with a bunch of my frens,
at new world park...
i know that other happening places are gonna be pack with crazy ppl...
well, we had fun at new world than we switch to red, a place near bellisa row, it was...not to shabby haha...
before christmas eve i went to Kerachut once again with 3 of my frens...
the hike was normal...
but we had fun there at the beach...big waves coming, cool wind, hot sun, n pretty girls...jz perfect...ok i lied about pretty girls...but hey we had fun...
well, it's kinda hard to see girls that is really outgoing(well lets exclude clubs)n adventurous...specially in penang...
the hike back was so so so so tiring...cuz we din have lunch cuz we think we'de survive without them...of'cuz we did but so tiring, i was so hungry i could eat down a horse...i'll take this as a lesson not to not buy lunch before i go hiking again...
n before all those crap...i must mention that i celebrated a belated birthday with 3 of my frens...again happy 20th birthday to them, Rose, Hazel n Bernice...
we had dinner at sushi king n i brought along 3 of my frens...they were so quiet...the funny things i put 3 of my frens sitting with 3 of my other girl frens at a table cuz its too small me n the other guy have to sit at the other table the whole thing looks like a blind date thingy...u know where ppl meet each other at a blind date programme...but they were too quiet...haha maybe the guys abit shy...haha...
but we still manage to crack a few jokes before we went for a movie n chao...!!!
N whats jie's blog without movie review, so i mention about movie rite
i was watching yes man...seriously...if u dun go for this one...or u think u can skip this one...or u even dare think it wun be good...u dun deserve to watch any movie at all...so go...n this time i wun spoil anything...jz go...
on the other hand ip man was nice...the fighting was good...but somehow i feel it still lack of something...but it worth every penny u paid for...go for this one too...
n finally...new years coming...i wud like to wish everyone happy new year...
2009 is gonna be great...
n 2010 i jz up ahead...
so, be happy be free...

December

So, hows the new look...look...look...look...?(echo)
haha like i thought it wud be...empty...
anyway do it cuz i'm getting tired of the same ol' boring stuff...

December...
well, since when i'm young december is always the best month of the year...
X'mas, colourful decoration, merry songs, and of all presents...
n i knew Santa is jz hocus pocus, but when someone dresses up as one i'll be asking for present like i realy believed in it...(we need some effort to get what we want)
but the best part of X'mas is, i get to drive around town with my family, watching those idiots having fun, getting drunk...n with the help of some songs it's a happy n fun night...
well thats when i'm young...now...X'mas is all about looking for discounts for the things u want to have...n so i got myself a watch with a lil help from dad...haha..
well hope yall get what u wan now...

well i watched a total of 3 animation this week, n a movie of alien saving earth...
comparing 3 of the animation i would say they're all good...funny...
as for the alien movie by the name, the day the earth stood still...
well, Jennifer connelly is still beautiful, Keanu Reeve is still good looking...
but the movie is lacking of something, i can't really say it's bad, but it's not great...deal with it...

i'm out of words,
getting tired of typing,
Bye...

losing the race...

i've been busy this few weeks...
exams...after the exam, i'm crazily finding stuff to enjoy...to do...
than i went to singapore with my family...
there i realize that, we can never win in the race of being an advance country...not even to our tiny neighbour...
but i always heard about how they wan to improve our country...
how they wan to compete n how well we're doing...
well, after i've seen singapore...i know what they said are all bullshit...
we're not improving...we're still on the first few steps of the board game...
but seriously singapore is not like what i imagined...
u know, like sucky food...n stuff...
their food is actually quite nice, but penang is still the best...

well after i'm back i'm too lazy to start typing stuff...
so i still went on with my things finding, enjoyment quest...
but i only watched around 2 movies this week...
body of lies n transporter 3...
well body was nice...the terrorist n stuff...CIA agents...u know the secret service n terrorist stuff...
n leonardo's good acting n russell crowe...should go for this one...
than if u're into action...transporter is the one...
good action, little talking...for girls...jason still have that body...
as for guys the girl is really not that attractive when u first saw her...
but with a lil bit of patience n adaptation u would finally find her quite pretty n sexy too...
n they pretty much advertised audi the whole movie...
but seriously audi is kinda sexy, great performance, n classy...

well as for me...i'm...free...n i'm worrying about my results...
as a result of that i kinda feel hard to enjoy this holiday season...
but not to worry...when it comes to fun...i wun let u down jz yet...
haha...i'm starting to feel bored about this...well...i'm going off, good
bye now...

the place we live...

when i look far far away...i see a void...
seriously i have a hole in my heart that i don't even know what fills it...
it always like i want to do something...
but i don't know what...
i'm missing something...
but i don't know what...
so...i'de do alot of stuff...jz to drown myself from that kind of feeling...
well except for trying real hard to study...
it's becuz of that hole i can't really focus...
i'll be thinking of other stuff...
phfff...but i'll try...
well again movie review of the week...
my best friend's girl...
by dane cook, kate hudson and...jason biggs from american pie...
it's a good movie...not great...not overwhelming...not explosive...
a good old american romantic comedy...which i think is very very funny...
something kinda like hitch...but...the opposite...
but they both make couples...
well hitch on the other hand...create chance for those regular guys which is not exceptionaly handsom...
n tank(that guy in the movie)...create a second chance for freshly break-up couples...
well as long as u got both there'de be less cases of divorce n non-handsom guys has a savior...but it's all in the movie...even if they do exist i don't think any regular guy would have enuf to pay their fees...haha...
well it's kinda romantic...at the same time they keep it light, wont get u all wet(tears)...but it provide a great dose of laughter...
n again thanks to the good ol' censorship board we have another good movie that has alot of cuts...n i really couldn't figured out what in the world would be in a romantic comedy that deserve so many cuts...
or maybe it's becuz of their(censors) F**k-up mind can't accept things...or understand things...or they really have to do something jz to not get fired...but anyhow we're the one thats pays for their stupidity, oh wait we actually(or our parents) paid taxes as their salary to make us miserable...so r they stupid or us..?geez...i'm confused...
but seriously an open mind keeps us clear...a conservative mind makes us who we are even after ten year, cuz they never learn, well once a dummy forever a dummy for them...
well back to the movie...if u're looking for something american-ish funny n at the same time makes u go awh....!!!well this is the one...
well i always have this american dream...
but i'm stuck here...
maybe its not as hollywood as it seems over there...
but it sure packs more freedom n openess...plus lotsa hot chicks...
well, improvement really don't go far when u're stuck with one mentality forever...specially a conservative one...
greatness falls upon those who dares to try...
oh well...i don't think we'll actually experience that for years to come...maybe forever...so we'll always listen to people saying how great other country is...
but we really can't actually blame them...we've never created anything great before well except for the tallest twin tower...
n we went to space using other people's equipment, rocket and even taking off elsewhere...n we're paying so much just to fly out of the earth atmosphere...n i still can't really see the purpose of that...
well actually i can, IF we build our own rocket, we fly it on our land, n actually put our flag on the moon...unfortunately we din't...well, keep up the good work...
but it is still very fortunate living here...specially in penang...it's not too hectic...not to crowded...it's actually (for me) the nicest place on earth...with great food...
well end of the story...i'm out of here...
wrote alot today...my fingers need some rest...
goodbye...

killing spree...

i'm up late doing great...
probably going to be late for tomorrow's work...
or my mom would force wake me...
so i wont be late...
but i'll definitely look half dead...
but lets finish what i started...
well the pick of the week...goes to...
movie...again...
Tropic Thunder...
should go for it...but don't expect too much...
don't get me wrong, it's funny...full of high profile actors...
but the best it can go is worth the bucks u paid for...
shallow storyline...light comedy...funny lines...good actors...
but sadly...bad plot...plus...the idiotic censorship board cutting every single funny but to "them"(i mean the censors) bad lines...screw them...they're being paid to ruin every good movie...sometimes being over conservative stops development...well we're here where we are decades ago...
anyway...lets not let them spoil our day(thats their objectives, by the way)...
so lets get through with it n go for something happier...
well, i had steambout with a few of my friend...using the left over food from our last bbq party...n the good news is, it's still edible n i'm ok...n we had fun i guess...
n this sunday i'm going for a paintball game...
isn't it great?...yea...!!!i know...
but expensive...but it's fun n it worth the pain...
pray that i can have some killing spree...
n that they can survive...
let the killing begins...
wahahahahaha....!!!!

slowing down...a little...

it's been a pretty slow week lately...
time moves slowly...at the same time fast...i really can't tell...
but it's dull...slow...like what i said i wanted...
but too slow...from hiking to jogging to movies...even clubbing...
suddenly my fren wanted a study...gosh...
it's like suddenly my life is surrounded by books...
not a bad thing...but...it gives me the sense of losing touch with life...
my life of'cuz...going out at night less...
no movies...no movies...no movies....
what a dumb week...no movies....geez...but nex week is gonna be good...
since tropic thunder is coming out....so....i'll start asking ppl out to watch it...
it's gonna be great...ben stiller...jack black...robert downey jr...what could possibly make this movie bad...?
well...speaking of which...
i did watch movie this week...(if not...i'de be sitting alone in a white room with strapjacket around me)
disaster movie...the movie is jz like the name...disaster...
it couldn't be worst...well not counting previous "movie" movie....
but one thing in it standsout from the others...
a really hot hot hot hot hot n stunningly beautiful Vanessa Minillo...
guys out there...for the sake of perfect beauty u must watch this movie...
but...still the movie suck in a way that it's not as bad as meet the spartans...n epic movie n others...which Vanessa is not in it...
well my exciting life ends here where i last met Vanessa n is madly in love with her...hahahaha...jkjk....i wish....
well...but now i'm back to going back to college to meet up with them guys to do some study...hmm...i wonder...how can i make it more exciting...
with books...!!!i'm going crazy...stop listening to me n go to sleep....
good nite...

it's a loud week...

yet another week that i can really tell tales about...
it all start of back when i went to a hike over with my NS frens to kerachut...
n damn that memory of not getting my favourite sleeping hut is still in my mind...
anyway...that very day they asked me to go clubbing...on wednesday...
for a moment there i was like..."HOLY CRAP....!!!"
well on wednesday morning jz when i thought that it's jz a plan...a msg from Kate confirming that it's on...did gave me a "HAIZ..."
well since, er...erm...oh well...i've never been clubbing b4...
never thought of going, never wanted to go, always jz say no when asked me to...well this time it's them well it's ok than i guess...
never really is that loud music kinda guy...
well so i went with a tot saying..."lets make this an experience..."
and it was...1st i had to crowd myself with alot of ppl under the heart pounding loud music which kinda make me hard to breathe at 1st...
well than we find no place to sit...so they decided that we went on to the dance floor...n gosh...this is my 1st...another "OH CRAP...!!!"i have been watching step up n so...but it's nothing like it...but...after a moment i did kinda let myself into the music abit...a move abit...but still not good...seemingly that the para para mechine hasn't been able to really train my moves...haha...never really did have my moves anyway...
than comes the bad part...i went on to drink with an empty stomach...
n so...my stomach was pain like hell...when i walk i can see ppl moving sideways...n the floor...shaking...i was like..."OH CRAP...i'm not drunk am i..?!!!"..but than i figured it's jz my stomach...but still it hurt so bad...i vomit...by the street...most probably the ppl there think that i'm some dude who drinks untill he drop...crap...
anyway...later on i went back home safe but smelly...
it was quite an experience...n kinda painfull too...but still i have to admit the dancing was quite fun...n i saw some ppl who really did show some funny moves...but it's all only to express themselves...
but when ask again to go...i'll think more than twice...for sure...
haha...

well heres the topic i like...movies...
i watched painted skin with my fren before i went to the club...
i can say that i wasn't that bad...but not very good...
quite enjoyable...worth the money i paid...n the story is simple n straight...
or we can say it's jz another typical chinese films...that is not that bad...
n than, the next day after i went clubbing i went to watch house bunny...
now, i can say it's been some time since i really had a good laugh in a movie...the rest are jz some meaningless so called comedy that tried to be funny with ridiculously idiotic script n action...
house bunny is different...if u ask me...i'de say u definitely must go for it...
it's funny, it's sexy, it's good...

well as for today...i kinda wasted time..doing nothing...
geez...i'm gonna hit the wall someday...n it's gonna be pain...
but till than...i've gotta go...it's 3 in the morning...u guysshud be sleeping too...haha...

another great week

tired tired tired...
this 2 weeks has been a really really tired week...
1st my fren came back from KL...
than NS frens called me...
than frens asked me out...
i've been going out again n again n again...
games, bbq, bbq, hiking..jogging...all stuff...
but it's kinda fun...but tired...
really tired...
so i think i shud be slowing down now...
not as young as i used to be...haha...
well i had 2 bbqs in a row...
than frens asked me to jogg in the morning days later...
n after that we planned to go to Kerachut...
the hike wasn't that bad...
jz like the usual...but this time...
i dun get to sleep there...
theres this bunch of ppl having camps n is using my favourite hut...
my favourite sleeping hut..!!!
the best spot to sleep...
geez...but than and so i went down to the beach with them...
and we went back by boat...
after a light meal...we went our on our own ways...
after i sent Rose back i went for a movie with my frens...
Eagle eye...
damn...that movie was great...
if batman wasn't out this year...it'll be the best...
or if heath ledger wasn't dead...it'll be the best...
but the odd's against eagle eye...so i guess batman will dominate the oscars...
n i'll be on my way now to some important stuff...
jz bought a g gundam anime...
going to finish some tonite...
bye bye...

quite a "beautiful" week...

well well...what is beautiful this few days...
lets see...well, i met someone that is real hot...
serious beauty...no joke...but it's all for the eye...

than another beautiful thing is this series that i've been watching...
moonlight resonance...it has a beautiful ending...
almost bring tears to my eyes...

speaking of tears to the eye...alot of things do make me feel like flowing my tears out...
specialy a good steak...can't resist a good steak...
a great movie...something that makes me go whao...!!!
a good song...which to me it means that the song mean something...not jz the same ol' love songs(specialy chinese ones)...
well i feel like i have so much to tell...yet so little to write down...
running out of ideas...
i wish i could jz tell the world how i feel, like what this blog is really meant for...
but mere mortals like me keep secrets...which to hide myself from shame...
anyway, u wun be listening to anything happening here...
i'm out of happening thoughts...

n i'm planing a bbq for this coming sat...with my friends...
anyone interested..?(y wud i want to ask here...geez...!!!)
n last sat is my friends bday...
in which that day i met this hot girl...which i dun really know...
but good for my eye...something special out of the regular makes the world better...haha...jkjk...but true...
n this coming sat...i'm still wondering what would happen....
but for now...a raining night...i'm off...not yet to bed...
but to find myself a good movie...to tears for...haha...

jie's back...

WHAO...look at all the dust in here...
has anyone been cleaning up this web...?
guess not...

well well...i stopped before i went to Hong Kong...
n that wud be month ago...
n what happened in this one month...?
lots of things happened...like...
my birthday...which...i think is still quite fun...
n erm...recently(yesterday)...i went out with my NS friends...
but it's only 5 of us...
it's raining all day long...n night...
watched Money no enough 2 for the second time but still some part still gets me...touched...
after that went for dinner...at...fettes park...western food...again...
apperently it's like nothing much left to eat in penang...although it's good food everywhere...eventually u'll start to run out of idea...
it's good to see them once in awhile...i mean friends...get to know how their life is...see them...jz to refresh our mind on how they look...it gets blurry sometimes...

well class starts tomorrow...or today...whatever...
n i can't sleep...
abit nervous...sincei switch places...to ATC...
enviroment wud not be the same...
but...jie will always be jie...
the enviroment doesn't change who i am...
i change the enviroment around me...
well get ready cuz i'll try to spice up ATC...
haha...chao...!!!

coming days...

so many things happened these few weeks...
yet, i can't seem to put them in words...
it's rite there but it also seem empty...
oh well...lets jz let it past be the past...
well i'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow...!!!
with my uncle...
anyway...before i let it slip away again, i'm gonna write it all here 1st...
being kinda lazy these days...
n i got hooked to jogging...
i've been to youth park almost everyday...
thats a good thing...but i also been staying up late too...
that makes it even...haha...
life has been kinda easy going...
n in a few more days life is going to be old...
i'm going to be older...
n time flies like always...damn...
seriously if i can choose a power to have, i wud have chosen time freezing...
n now i really wanted to go to a normal class...
i'm dead serious...i wan to study...
well after the HK trip...
after my Birthday...
ahh...i'm running out of words here...
so...i'm gonna be back with more news when i come back from HK...
get ready HK, here i come to rock ur world...woohooo...!!!!

too little too late...

life is fragile...
the second u see them, the next they're gone...
n yesterday i lost my grandfather...
than i realise oh...i never get to say goodbye...
or even jz to tell him i love him...
n i guess it was all to late now...
it's ironic that all the while we were looking for the one to love...
for the one to care...
we overlook those who is always there...
n than we feel sorry...when it's too late to be there...
i guess appreciation is there when nothing is there for us to appreciate...
n u know what...i got this new camera...
i got lots of camera in the past...
n than i heard them asking about my grandfathers picture...
n again i realise...with so many cameras, i have non of his picture...
it makes me wonder...how much i really care..?
tears did fell off my eyes...
not because the going of him...
it's because i realise i did too little when i happens to have too much time...
n all too late when too little we can do, too little we can say...
n theres no time left...
it's also very ironic that i got the see ppl hanging around his house...
ironic that death is what set us apart from them...
it's also death that for this moment hold everyone together...
letting us know that we still are family...
we still have the ones we love...
let us love everyone when we still can..
for when it's too late...
the next thing u know...
u'll be sitting around the graves of everyone...
love the world...
love life...

sleeping sane...

jz came back from an apartment stay...
with frens from Borders...
quite a stay...can't really say it's the best...
but i guess it wasn't that bad...
the sea is as calm n as beautiful like always...
the wave moves me...with its beautiful melody...
for a moment there i feel free sitting alone by the sea...
looking at the dark horizon wondering whats beyond...
like life it's too far yet beautiful...
full of uncertainty...that makes it beautiful...

i guess i'm lost again...
heart full of doubt, full of envy, full of anger...
yet there is still this bit of content, this bit of calm, this bit of sense...
hopefully this bit of sanity can hold on...
ain't wan to do something i'll regret...
i still wan to be me...
i still wan to be free...
yet all those insanity makes me feel chained...
i wan to sleep...
close my eyes n let everything go...
when i wake up i'm all new...
when i wake up everythings done...
tired...
having everything means nothing without having to be free...
free from feelings...
i guess no one is free...
i guess no one can be free...
all i wan is to sleep...
feel free when i'm asleep...

i have no idea for the title....

life is full of irony...
the next thing u know, u weren't urself at all...
life is too short to be too serious...
the next thing u know, u weren't noticing at all...
all those little stuff around u that makes it perfect...
oh well as life goes on...we learn new things, meet new people...
n today i've learned that humans are curious about everything yet often being ignorant about everything...
we know it's gonna happen, yet only fear when it arrives...
we know about the consequences, yet only regret when it happens...
we know the truth, yet magnifies only the evil...
we fear of bad things happening, yet we do it to someone else...
well, i'm a human also...n i dun see any improvement from myself not to mention hoping to see it happening on others...
i jz came back from quite a trip...
to genting highlands...well not as merry and happy and exciting as what i remember when i was little...maybe i know too much, and appreciate too little...as every men wud be...
well also went to KL...we it's a city, modern...hectic...hazzy...dirty...crowded...noisy...well thats probably what i can think of when ppl speak of KL...
and after i been there for like hundreds of times plus living there b4...it further confirms this thinking...well as glamorous as it can be...i dun see anything that impresses me...nightlife...?huh...apart from that can anyone tell me what other thing that KL can be better than Penang..?besides, clubs and beers are for those who knows no life...expensive stuff are for the rich and famous which in turn tries to show everyone that they are rich and famous by spending lavishly on things they dun really need and things probably to make ppl envy of...well u can say thats a poor man's talking...n the coldness of the ppl there...whao...n they think that its a good thing...n that they do not ask for discount and stuff...well...i'de say they're afraid of asking...fearing what ppl wud say that they are poor...so whats the point of pretending rich when u're not rich...well i'de probably find a reason to make my weakness looks like something great too...when i got nothing but my weakness and a mouth...well i guess i've said too much n probably gonna receive some "reasons and advice" from them people when this goes public...well hopefully it doesn't...
well good night...

in need of something...

work work work work...
and finally after all those complaints and whinning about work...
i'm setting myself free...i quit...
meaning no extra income...
no extra spending...
no extra stuff...
but alot of extra time...
time to find myself...
time to be myself...
time to think of what lies ahead...
and what lies ahead is what scare me the most...
looking into the future...i see a void...an emptiness...
not even me myself can get myself to be serious...
yet fear lingers in me everytime i have nothing to do...
when i have no where to go...
when i have no one to talk to...
when i have nothing to do...
than i'll find something to do...
find someone to talk to...
trying my best to fill in the emptiness...
but everything i did may fullfill in momentarily...
it jz never goes away untill i've done something that i can say to everyone...and importantly myself that i've achieve something in life...
no jz hanging around...
bugging some poor soul...
n try to drunk myself from this torment...
sometimes all we really need to have is ourself...
but when u start losing it...its hard to u to get grip of urself untill u found that something that makes u, u...
n i'm desparately in need of something like that...
for now jz an empty soul living in the moment trying to figure out what life has to offer...n what can i do to find myself...
guess finding ourself is not as easy as it sounds like...
jz happens that i've again hike over to keracut today...still so beautiful...
n yet i feel that i can do more...
travel to places...explore...advanture...
hope that i can do more in life than jz being empty...

so tired of what life has to offer...

how long since my last post...?
how long since i last said everything out...?
always tired...always wanting to do something...
yet always end with me doing nothing...
getting really tired of everything...
i want to say everything out...
i want to release everything...
i want to be free from everything...
it's hard for me to let everything out...
listening to songs...trying to sink myself with songs...
busy my mind with loads of things...
trying hard to retain the way i was...
i guess time jz never travel alone...
he always have stress and sorrow by his side...
also happiness...
yet stress and sorrow hits most of the time...
or maybe the hardest...
making me feel out of place...
making me...not me...
making me getting tired and tired and tired...
i jz want to close my eyes and listen to what life has to tell...
and offer...and what lies before me...
well i really need some light...
and a very long rest...
a long long rest...
i want to be free...
i want to be me...

the same ol' truth about me...

miss me...?anyone...?hello...?!!!
what the heck...no one does...
but i certainly miss alot of writings...
not really in the mood this few days...been kinda tired...
out of things to say...almost as if life is as simple as nothing to say...
boring actually...
but i still have to spice up my life a lil bit by...
going to a movie...like...fool's gold...
which is very funny...
n some old stuff...which is...exciting...
hang out with frens n stuff...
doing things i do best...
actually it's kinda boring...
not as bad as sad...
jz not the kind i dream of living in...ever...which i already did...
so it's sad...
but i can't really deny that after knowing them jz a lil bit more...
working is kinda not that bad afterall...
jz that it's never as good...as being the old me...i guess...
well...i give up...jz have to face the truth that...
life kinda like suckier that last time...
n i'm now a very different person...different as in...life is not the same...
but i'm still me inside...
n one day i shall break free...
n u guys shall be free from listening to my bullshit...
well have to sleep now...working tomorrow...DUH...!!!
good nite n sweet dreams...

sweet day

i watched 27 dresses today...
it's funny, sweet and...funny...
anyway i jz wanted to watch something nice...
i want movie...
i've had enuf of robotic life that i've been through...
well, it's not bad...since i'm getting along with them...
i'm starting to be the funny man or a jerk i am...but i always like to be who i am....sort of....kinda....i guess....
so finally something sweet today...(never thought that i'll said that ever....haha)
anyway....i'm not really the romance movie go-er....but this is not a bad one
nice actually...beautiful girl, handsom guys...n the beautiful new york city...
n the american life i always dreamed of living in haha....
well....hafta start thinking of now than future...so...i better be dreaming now...reality check tomorrow....

Too Late

Too Late

i woke up this morning,
i looked to the world,
i smile and laugh,
i was all alone.

i remember the smile of childrens,
i remember the beautiful world,
i remember to smile and laugh,
i remember it was all gone.

i see sufferings and pain,
i feel sad and vain,
i see them crying,
i wasn't trying.

i miss those beautiful smile,
i miss the beautiful world,
i miss the chance i had,
i miss helping the lives i can.

now i have everything,
yet having everything means nothing,
when all that i have,
cannot change for the beautiful world i had.

-JIE-

a lil work of mine...
the world is always a beautiful place...life is beautiful...
do something before we lost everything...

the traveler

n again i'm in the mood for writting...
life is sooooo boring these days....work sleep work sleep...
i'm yearning to have the free life i had...
to be who i used to be...but sadly we jz never can be who we used to be...
i always have this dream of being great...to be someone...
now...being who i used to be is what i want...
but i still have this lil dream going on...
being a traveler...to truely live a free life...
the adventure...
the life...
the freedom...
well i'll take this time around as a challenge of life...save my money...n aim for the world...
but again thats a plan n a dream...it's gonna be hard...but it's gonna be fun...
well if we're gonna dream, why not dream big...
work hard...stay sharp...save money...aim big...the world...
anyway kinda like the name traveler...it gives the mystrious...
the legendary traveler jie...thats who i'm gonna be...haha...
like i said dream big...
anyway...going to bed...due to the fact that i'm still a human n a human needs rest...n u too...bye

the day i walked up the graves...

yet another day...but it's a happy, fun and good day...
it's the time of the year that i really love..."cheng beng"(i have no idea what it is in english)
anyway this is the time of the year where i get to hop on graves searching for my ancestor's grave, it's like a maze...n of'cuz with the whole bunch of family members...
cutting grasses under the hot sun, arrange those yellow n white papers...
it's alot of fun...tho it's a lil hot, but...nothing beats a good o "hike up the grave"...
anyway had lunch after that...with the whole bunch of them...(families)
all i can say is...i love this time around...well a lil less than chinese new year, n i know u know y...
well going back to normal life tomorrow...or abnormal...anything...
n i've jz learned one new thing from a tv advertistment, life without dream...is a job...
n i'm doing my job...geez...where have my dream gone...?
anyway...going to get paid soon...n hopefully i know what i'm going to do with it...n how i'm going to do it...
n i guess...i'll jz have to wait till tomorrow...n see how's life going to turn out to be...

mind talking...

DANG...!!!so since when did i last had fun...?
no idea...probably days, weeks, even months...years r too long, i'de be dead by than...
maybe all i need is a good rest, keep my mind fresh, n have a great start on everything...
paint myself a picture...play some good games...
nah...i probably need to keep my head right...before i start turning to all that i defy before than...
no stress...the funny thing is, there is no stress...
nothing...numb...
well probably its the work thing going on...killing all my good brain cells...
n now i'm seriously talking to myself...
maybe i shud start reading...its a good thing...i think i really shud...
i mean i really are into books nowadays...
maybe it's the work thing again...but it's a good thing...i think...?!
n now...i think i'm done...i mean talking to myself...
seriously getting tired...sleepy...
n in a few hours time i have to get to work...
better keep my self fresh till than...
maybe half fresh since i have so little time to sleep...
oh well, hopefully they're all prepared for the zombie attack tomorrow...

my life lately, to all my friends...

i'm alrite, i'm fine, but little less than happy.
life is fine, life is simple, but little less than happy.
i'm working now, part-time, and borders book store where it is.
starting to get very busy, life is now a routine.
work, sleep, work, rest, work, sleep...
i gain new friends, yet felt a little less closer with the old ones.
alot less...i guess...
i miss my old life, old friend, i miss the taste of freedom i had.
maybe freedom is still with me but yet i'm too tired to reach for it.
very tired...i guess...
i used to check my mails n friendster n my blog...
now, time is all i have to get some sleep.
i miss those time when i run around school playing catch,
fighting is a game, girls n money...nothing more than fun n friends.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss those time when i run around school playing skip classes,
life is a game, girls n money...they seem a lil more important there days.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i run around the field because i was forced to,
being dirty is a game, girls n money...well having it that time seem useless...
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i would run around town searching for good food and being late,
driving is a game, girls n money...well, the more the merrier...
time change, i change, everthing changed...
now...i wud run around house n work trying not to be late,
sleeping is a game, girls n money...too tired to think of any...
time change, i change, everything changed...
i'm sorry if i'm not the same...
i'm sorry if life is being cruel...
i'm sorry if everything can never be the same...
to all my friends...
even if everything does change,
our friendship is immortal,
and time are just numbers.

the real me

been wondering that where the heck did this bugger go...?
he talks alot about how beautiful life is...
how much he wanted the world to be...
how great he would be...
n how strong he is when facing problems...
but basically thats all bullshit...i'm jz trying to create a whole new world of my own in here so that i wun feel that bad, at least to make me happier...

since young i'm not much of a "saying out my problem" type of person, everything is much like "my problem, my headache, my pride" haha, yea i know how stupid i am. The problem is, i'm still one. I kind of like hide alot of things when it come to my life, i dun admit to certain problems which i thought embarrasing, i tend to hide the fact that my life is jz not as wonderfull as many think of, but the fact is my heart is gushing with alot alot alot alot of emotions and i dun really like to share these problem with people because i think it wun be that great about me, its even worst turning to my parents for that cuz they most likely thinks that i'm wrong n then when we argue they tend to always thinks that they're right, yea i know they're older n wiser but that doesn't make them god, they're not all right all the time.
Then i start writting blogs hopefully to free myself, but sadly even words through wrtting are too fake to be true n even writtings are full of lies n nothing in here are making sense of my life i'm not being who i am, i'm creating a whole new jie here, one in which he has a better life than the real me, n the sad fact is i'm not as strong as what i hoped to be, but for honor sake for pride sake i lied. remember how much i said about never giving up? well i gave up on things all the time, like when i was young i gave up piano, than i gave up on sports, i gave up trying to do something, i even gave up to games that i can't finish, so basically i'm a bag full of shit, Bullshit.
so y the sudden urge to face something, y the sudden urge to admit to something. i know i'm a coward but hopefully i'm doing something real n true for once,lettting u guys know not to trust what u see, many illusions are created jz to make u feel amaze, but the real sad fact in life is, it can never be beautiful untill you realize the fact that life is not about holding on to something, but letting it go. thats what i'm trying to do letting go of everything in me, for once trying to be the real me infront of everyone.

too much thought, too little guts to do

i have alot in mind, too much to be kept it all to myself yet to important to let it out. i dunno, i guess i'll jz have to put my mind into something else.
i have this crazy idea, n i dun know what shud i do about it...hm...of'cuz it's not something bad or evil but it's kinda stupid to be jz right...i'm out of my mind...alot alot alot alot more things in my mind now...not stress out cuz i dun stress that easily but kinda like it's pulling my mind not knowing what to do n coin toss jz can't tell me what to do anymore...i feel like talking to someone but yet i'm too too too lazy to say hi...geez...i'm so tired yet eyes to wide to jz sit back n relax my mind full of actions yet my body is too heavy to move...ARGGHHHHHH...!!!!

n again bad things always happen the split second u think of it...n the good thing...?well the moment u plan for the worst, the good things disappear n let all the fun for the bad stuff...tell me is that a challenge an obstacle or a joke from above...?geez...life is full of what u can't imagine but still even if life throws me a rotten apple i'll dodge n take it n throw it back...i wun bow to fate i control fate, my fate...

well though not everything is being let out but i still feel slightly better...atleast better than before...so i'll come again when i feel like i'm going to kill someone...haha....

dooms day

are you lonesome tonight...~~..nah...not really...jz kinda nervous i'm probably gonna get my results tomorrow n i can't really sleep, i'm even more nervous than going out with some hot chicks...DARN..!!!whats gotten into my mind...tomorrow will be judgement day either it wud be heaven or hell for me...well i have a lil confidence this time...but yet the more confidence i have the more i fear...geez...speaking of mixed feelings...but it's also a good news cuz i've been anxious for this moment since the very 1st day i took the exam...well jz came back home, went out with few friends trying to relax ourself abit...but clearly it's not working very well i'm still awake...trying to crap my heads out...

well i watched a tv drama jz now, i can't remember it's name...acted by myolie wu n bosco wong...i think u know which one i'm talking about...well, after watching the drama it was like i know everything cuz obviously they're acting infront of me n i shud have known it for sure but inside they jz keep misunderstanding each other(not for real in mean in the series), finally for so many year i realised that outsider really can see things clearer than whos involved in that matter...but still we always thinks that we understand things more than any one else in this tiny lil world...but hey, who wud want to listen to an outsider...?maybe i'll try to listen nex time...

i guess this is what i'm feeling n thinking n doing today...what else...nothing...ok than i'll leave the rest of my life to ur imagination...but dun dream of something bad about me...u'll jz end up dissapointing urself...till than...catch ya nex time...

the greeeeeeen stuff....

do u see some green stuff comin of my hair do u...?well i do...and it's all over my back saying...B.O.R.I.N.G....thats it boring, at 1st i thought i was GNIROB cuz i was looking at the mirror, i was like "what the hell"...oh, than i realise that it shud be boring instead of gnirob, if it mean something to anyone...well, the point is i'm so bored that green stuff growing of my back saying boring...man..i wish class starts faster cuz i need to use my brain for something...

well back before class ended before new year, i wud wake up every morning trying to look good for the day, shinnin my shoe, lookin into the mirror, wash myself up...hoping to look my best...for the nice n shinny day...but now, i woke up everyday in the afternoon, waiting for time to pass n than watch TV, i feel my senses rotting everyday, i feel my bones hard enough to beat the drum n i feel stupid everyday...what the...it's new year...!!!geez...really wish i'm good for something...which i am but i can't think of any jz yet, cuz most of my time are spent sleeping...

n again i hike to pantai kerachut with my frens...it's a nice n shinny day like everyday cept' that i woke up earlier(i din actually sleep at all) we went there hike all the way to the beach n it was jz us, the beach is all ours, we had our meals n than we went to sleep in the nice cooling hall there...it's really cool very very cool i could sleep all day, untill my fren wake me up to dive into the sea...we found a nice cool spot to lay stuff around n than i jump into the sea n sit...thats it sit...n enjoy the view n the sea...n than they saw this jellyfish swimming up shore man i'm shocked, the memory of the electrifying sting of the jellyfish scare me off shore so than i decided to sit back beside in this nice cool spot n again sleep...n than we went back to bath n than rest awhile n than hike our way back...we had our dinner at new world park...n after i went back home i felt soooo tire that i actually slept earlier...but again i woke up at 2 today...man it's in my blood...dang...!!!

oh well this is my life, oh n one more thing the game plan was nice, watch it...n again...i'm going back to the TV...till than u might see the green thing all over my head....bye...

part 2 2007 wrapper....

well this probably shud be part 2...ok than it's part 2 of my last post...but it's gonna be short i'm not really in the mood for long boring words pouring down on ur poor soul, i'm feeling good today...

after the camp...i think it shud be the christmas party that i shud be talking about...well, it was nothing big, it's something more of a small bbq party with some frens n thats it...that shud be it...oh n i have to send one of my fren's family to the airport...in the morning...

than on new years eve i...went to my uncle's place having some fun happy new year gathering with all of my family members...it was great...good food which my aunt's fren cooked jzpanese food for us, well, she's from japan, actually married to japan...she's a family fren...with a cute daughter...i mean real cute cuz she's real young, probably 8 or something...after that went to meet my frens for the real crazy stuff...we went to BED...for some who dun know whats n wheres bed, well, it's a something like a place where young ppl hang-out with music n booze...as for ur info i'm not a booze kind of guy, but had some cocktail stuff back there...after that we went to lio's for some drinks again...n than to a mamak for some chill n food...nothing beats mamak after a long night of craziness...jz like everytime me n my fren's finished gaming n the next stop is mamak...

well that kinda wrapped up everything i did b4 2008...n now it's 2008...one fine year to start with...hopefully i'm gonna make changes this year...hopefully this year there is more advanture...n less heartbreak...n everyone lives happily ever after...n tune in for whats up for year 2008...thank you...bye....

by the way i'm not a camera guy...so i'm sorry that u jz gotta imagine what i've done thus far...i'll try to change this year...

2007 wrapper part 1

oh happy new year guys...!!!
now it's time for me to wrap up things that i've done last year...
oh ya i stopped at the Bangkok holiday, so i'll continue from there...so after that nothing real big actually happened so me n my frens decided that we'll camp out at kerachut for a night, finally my dreams come true, to really camp out in the wild or beside the sea...here goes the story that is truely one great memory for me for the rest of my life...

well the story goes like every other story, it start of with a sunny day, me, wei yang, n weng yew is going to start our journey to do n to try what most teenagers today would not do, we're going to camp...well u may think that kerachut is not a big deal, but...it'll get exciting later on...

n so we went to the place where we would register to go for camping at the registration area...n guess what...we can't camp at kerachut cuz it's fully booked, n the only option left is monkey beach n teluk kampi...well since we went to monkey beach b4 n it wasn't a good idea to go again n than going back is not really an option at all, so we went to teluk kampi...it's near kerachut so we figured that it wun be such a hard hike at all, but it's more than hard it's nightmare...but a sweet one...an advanture most boys would wan to do, specially after we watched national treasure...so than after more than an hour hike we reahced kerachut...it was an easy hike, we rest for a moment, n than we continue on we dun wan to trap in the forest in the middle on the night...well we start of by searching for the way to teluk kampi...it was a small small small pathway...n a very very very steep one...it is one hack of a hike so hard that i nearly give up...seriously if u try it once u wun wan to do it again, it wud be easy if we're well equiped or well prepared...but the fact is we weren't me n wei yang are wearing sandals n slippers n than we have to carry sleeping bag n tent n a bag of nasi kandar that we bought earlier for our dinner haha...yup we din have any cooking gear, we jz brought our shirts n tent n ourself, n i din even bring my tower so u know how hard the hike wud be...ok back to the hike...it was hardcore till the end...but we still manage to follow the markings that show us to kampi for awhile...yup for awhile...we got lost after hiking down some way n lost track of the markings...n we reach a cliff or something like that but a short one so we decided to climb down the cliff n move along the coast so i climbed down 1st n than they wud slowly pass things down n than we wud come down slowly one by one...we managed to clear level one...n there is level 2 ahead though it looks easier but i think it's much harder than the last one...n i slipped but the fall wasn't too bad...but when i reach the low land i found out that i'm burned by the stupid caterpiller that i saw earlier when i climbed down the cliff...n it was burning n it feels jz like a jelly fish sting but no use crying in the middle of no where...but...we finally see water...it's the sea...so we jumped along the rocks besides the sea slowly one by one we jumped n finally we reach our destination...n it's paradise...it's beautiful, n it makes all the hardwork worth while we rest for awhile n we saw 2 people camping so we decided to be their neighbour n we set up our tent beside them...after that i m so tired that i straight away sleep in the tent leaving wei yang n weng yew to do their stuff...they explore the place n play by the sea...n when i woke up, well i joined them for awhile...n than we went to bath at a river...they have this barrel thing that store waters from the river so we bath there...n it is like the best bath i ever had maybe i'm too dirty n the water is so cooling it makes me feel so alive...after that it's time to have dinner, it's time for nasi kandar...hahaha...yea the nasi kandar is still with us n it taste soooo good, i guess i was jz too hungry...after that we talked for awhile...n when it turn dark we went inside the tent n sleep...it's not really a very good night sleep but we still manage to get some rest...n b4 i really sleep i looked up to the sky n i saw the most beautiful stars ever...it was like in NS time but this one...it's a real adventure's star...so beautiful that it's like telling me that i've done something, i've achieved something...but right after that i fell into a good night sleep, that is not so good...but we still manage to sleep for 12 hours from 8 at night to 8 in the morning...n than it's time for breakfast...a piece of bread...n thats it...n we n our neighbour figured that it wud be best if we hitch a boat ride to kerachut n than only we hike back cuz the hike is really very very hard...n the lost memory is still fresh in our minds...so we went on a kind fisherman's boat n he fetch us back to kerachut with the price of 20 bucks...well he needed to fuel his boat, so it's reasonable that we pay him for the trouble cause, well we rest for awhile at kerachut n wei yang n weng yew decided to go watch some turtles n i decided that i'll wait for them...while i was waiting for them, a family of some malay people asked for my help to build their tent, so i went to help them...n they gave me some ketupat as a reward...haha...jz what i need for breakfast haha...after they came back n we rest for awhile more, we than hit the road...n...what that is interesting is that a dog guided on our way back to it stopped when we stopped n it move when we say go...how nice of him...well at least we have another accompany us back...

finally we reached civilisation...n the 1st thing in our mind is food...so we went to new world park for....char koey teow...n...duck rice...my god it was good...after that we went back...home...n sleep....haha....thats it....

n now i feel tired...i'll finish wrapping things up on my next post...bye...
n good night...i really have to hit the sack...