in need of something...

work work work work...
and finally after all those complaints and whinning about work...
i'm setting myself free...i quit...
meaning no extra income...
no extra spending...
no extra stuff...
but alot of extra time...
time to find myself...
time to be myself...
time to think of what lies ahead...
and what lies ahead is what scare me the most...
looking into the future...i see a void...an emptiness...
not even me myself can get myself to be serious...
yet fear lingers in me everytime i have nothing to do...
when i have no where to go...
when i have no one to talk to...
when i have nothing to do...
than i'll find something to do...
find someone to talk to...
trying my best to fill in the emptiness...
but everything i did may fullfill in momentarily...
it jz never goes away untill i've done something that i can say to everyone...and importantly myself that i've achieve something in life...
no jz hanging around...
bugging some poor soul...
n try to drunk myself from this torment...
sometimes all we really need to have is ourself...
but when u start losing it...its hard to u to get grip of urself untill u found that something that makes u, u...
n i'm desparately in need of something like that...
for now jz an empty soul living in the moment trying to figure out what life has to offer...n what can i do to find myself...
guess finding ourself is not as easy as it sounds like...
jz happens that i've again hike over to keracut today...still so beautiful...
n yet i feel that i can do more...
travel to places...explore...advanture...
hope that i can do more in life than jz being empty...

so tired of what life has to offer...

how long since my last post...?
how long since i last said everything out...?
always tired...always wanting to do something...
yet always end with me doing nothing...
getting really tired of everything...
i want to say everything out...
i want to release everything...
i want to be free from everything...
it's hard for me to let everything out...
listening to songs...trying to sink myself with songs...
busy my mind with loads of things...
trying hard to retain the way i was...
i guess time jz never travel alone...
he always have stress and sorrow by his side...
also happiness...
yet stress and sorrow hits most of the time...
or maybe the hardest...
making me feel out of place...
making me...not me...
making me getting tired and tired and tired...
i jz want to close my eyes and listen to what life has to tell...
and offer...and what lies before me...
well i really need some light...
and a very long rest...
a long long rest...
i want to be free...
i want to be me...