too little too late...

life is fragile...
the second u see them, the next they're gone...
n yesterday i lost my grandfather...
than i realise oh...i never get to say goodbye...
or even jz to tell him i love him...
n i guess it was all to late now...
it's ironic that all the while we were looking for the one to love...
for the one to care...
we overlook those who is always there...
n than we feel sorry...when it's too late to be there...
i guess appreciation is there when nothing is there for us to appreciate...
n u know what...i got this new camera...
i got lots of camera in the past...
n than i heard them asking about my grandfathers picture...
n again i realise...with so many cameras, i have non of his picture...
it makes me wonder...how much i really care..?
tears did fell off my eyes...
not because the going of him...
it's because i realise i did too little when i happens to have too much time...
n all too late when too little we can do, too little we can say...
n theres no time left...
it's also very ironic that i got the see ppl hanging around his house...
ironic that death is what set us apart from them...
it's also death that for this moment hold everyone together...
letting us know that we still are family...
we still have the ones we love...
let us love everyone when we still can..
for when it's too late...
the next thing u know...
u'll be sitting around the graves of everyone...
love the world...
love life...

sleeping sane...

jz came back from an apartment stay...
with frens from Borders...
quite a stay...can't really say it's the best...
but i guess it wasn't that bad...
the sea is as calm n as beautiful like always...
the wave moves me...with its beautiful melody...
for a moment there i feel free sitting alone by the sea...
looking at the dark horizon wondering whats beyond...
like life it's too far yet beautiful...
full of uncertainty...that makes it beautiful...

i guess i'm lost again...
heart full of doubt, full of envy, full of anger...
yet there is still this bit of content, this bit of calm, this bit of sense...
hopefully this bit of sanity can hold on...
ain't wan to do something i'll regret...
i still wan to be me...
i still wan to be free...
yet all those insanity makes me feel chained...
i wan to sleep...
close my eyes n let everything go...
when i wake up i'm all new...
when i wake up everythings done...
tired...
having everything means nothing without having to be free...
free from feelings...
i guess no one is free...
i guess no one can be free...
all i wan is to sleep...
feel free when i'm asleep...

i have no idea for the title....

life is full of irony...
the next thing u know, u weren't urself at all...
life is too short to be too serious...
the next thing u know, u weren't noticing at all...
all those little stuff around u that makes it perfect...
oh well as life goes on...we learn new things, meet new people...
n today i've learned that humans are curious about everything yet often being ignorant about everything...
we know it's gonna happen, yet only fear when it arrives...
we know about the consequences, yet only regret when it happens...
we know the truth, yet magnifies only the evil...
we fear of bad things happening, yet we do it to someone else...
well, i'm a human also...n i dun see any improvement from myself not to mention hoping to see it happening on others...
i jz came back from quite a trip...
to genting highlands...well not as merry and happy and exciting as what i remember when i was little...maybe i know too much, and appreciate too little...as every men wud be...
well also went to KL...we it's a city, modern...hectic...hazzy...dirty...crowded...noisy...well thats probably what i can think of when ppl speak of KL...
and after i been there for like hundreds of times plus living there b4...it further confirms this thinking...well as glamorous as it can be...i dun see anything that impresses me...nightlife...?huh...apart from that can anyone tell me what other thing that KL can be better than Penang..?besides, clubs and beers are for those who knows no life...expensive stuff are for the rich and famous which in turn tries to show everyone that they are rich and famous by spending lavishly on things they dun really need and things probably to make ppl envy of...well u can say thats a poor man's talking...n the coldness of the ppl there...whao...n they think that its a good thing...n that they do not ask for discount and stuff...well...i'de say they're afraid of asking...fearing what ppl wud say that they are poor...so whats the point of pretending rich when u're not rich...well i'de probably find a reason to make my weakness looks like something great too...when i got nothing but my weakness and a mouth...well i guess i've said too much n probably gonna receive some "reasons and advice" from them people when this goes public...well hopefully it doesn't...
well good night...