Too Late

Too Late

i woke up this morning,
i looked to the world,
i smile and laugh,
i was all alone.

i remember the smile of childrens,
i remember the beautiful world,
i remember to smile and laugh,
i remember it was all gone.

i see sufferings and pain,
i feel sad and vain,
i see them crying,
i wasn't trying.

i miss those beautiful smile,
i miss the beautiful world,
i miss the chance i had,
i miss helping the lives i can.

now i have everything,
yet having everything means nothing,
when all that i have,
cannot change for the beautiful world i had.

-JIE-

a lil work of mine...
the world is always a beautiful place...life is beautiful...
do something before we lost everything...

the traveler

n again i'm in the mood for writting...
life is sooooo boring these days....work sleep work sleep...
i'm yearning to have the free life i had...
to be who i used to be...but sadly we jz never can be who we used to be...
i always have this dream of being great...to be someone...
now...being who i used to be is what i want...
but i still have this lil dream going on...
being a traveler...to truely live a free life...
the adventure...
the life...
the freedom...
well i'll take this time around as a challenge of life...save my money...n aim for the world...
but again thats a plan n a dream...it's gonna be hard...but it's gonna be fun...
well if we're gonna dream, why not dream big...
work hard...stay sharp...save money...aim big...the world...
anyway kinda like the name traveler...it gives the mystrious...
the legendary traveler jie...thats who i'm gonna be...haha...
like i said dream big...
anyway...going to bed...due to the fact that i'm still a human n a human needs rest...n u too...bye

the day i walked up the graves...

yet another day...but it's a happy, fun and good day...
it's the time of the year that i really love..."cheng beng"(i have no idea what it is in english)
anyway this is the time of the year where i get to hop on graves searching for my ancestor's grave, it's like a maze...n of'cuz with the whole bunch of family members...
cutting grasses under the hot sun, arrange those yellow n white papers...
it's alot of fun...tho it's a lil hot, but...nothing beats a good o "hike up the grave"...
anyway had lunch after that...with the whole bunch of them...(families)
all i can say is...i love this time around...well a lil less than chinese new year, n i know u know y...
well going back to normal life tomorrow...or abnormal...anything...
n i've jz learned one new thing from a tv advertistment, life without dream...is a job...
n i'm doing my job...geez...where have my dream gone...?
anyway...going to get paid soon...n hopefully i know what i'm going to do with it...n how i'm going to do it...
n i guess...i'll jz have to wait till tomorrow...n see how's life going to turn out to be...

mind talking...

DANG...!!!so since when did i last had fun...?
no idea...probably days, weeks, even months...years r too long, i'de be dead by than...
maybe all i need is a good rest, keep my mind fresh, n have a great start on everything...
paint myself a picture...play some good games...
nah...i probably need to keep my head right...before i start turning to all that i defy before than...
no stress...the funny thing is, there is no stress...
nothing...numb...
well probably its the work thing going on...killing all my good brain cells...
n now i'm seriously talking to myself...
maybe i shud start reading...its a good thing...i think i really shud...
i mean i really are into books nowadays...
maybe it's the work thing again...but it's a good thing...i think...?!
n now...i think i'm done...i mean talking to myself...
seriously getting tired...sleepy...
n in a few hours time i have to get to work...
better keep my self fresh till than...
maybe half fresh since i have so little time to sleep...
oh well, hopefully they're all prepared for the zombie attack tomorrow...

my life lately, to all my friends...

i'm alrite, i'm fine, but little less than happy.
life is fine, life is simple, but little less than happy.
i'm working now, part-time, and borders book store where it is.
starting to get very busy, life is now a routine.
work, sleep, work, rest, work, sleep...
i gain new friends, yet felt a little less closer with the old ones.
alot less...i guess...
i miss my old life, old friend, i miss the taste of freedom i had.
maybe freedom is still with me but yet i'm too tired to reach for it.
very tired...i guess...
i used to check my mails n friendster n my blog...
now, time is all i have to get some sleep.
i miss those time when i run around school playing catch,
fighting is a game, girls n money...nothing more than fun n friends.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss those time when i run around school playing skip classes,
life is a game, girls n money...they seem a lil more important there days.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i run around the field because i was forced to,
being dirty is a game, girls n money...well having it that time seem useless...
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i would run around town searching for good food and being late,
driving is a game, girls n money...well, the more the merrier...
time change, i change, everthing changed...
now...i wud run around house n work trying not to be late,
sleeping is a game, girls n money...too tired to think of any...
time change, i change, everything changed...
i'm sorry if i'm not the same...
i'm sorry if life is being cruel...
i'm sorry if everything can never be the same...
to all my friends...
even if everything does change,
our friendship is immortal,
and time are just numbers.

the real me

been wondering that where the heck did this bugger go...?
he talks alot about how beautiful life is...
how much he wanted the world to be...
how great he would be...
n how strong he is when facing problems...
but basically thats all bullshit...i'm jz trying to create a whole new world of my own in here so that i wun feel that bad, at least to make me happier...

since young i'm not much of a "saying out my problem" type of person, everything is much like "my problem, my headache, my pride" haha, yea i know how stupid i am. The problem is, i'm still one. I kind of like hide alot of things when it come to my life, i dun admit to certain problems which i thought embarrasing, i tend to hide the fact that my life is jz not as wonderfull as many think of, but the fact is my heart is gushing with alot alot alot alot of emotions and i dun really like to share these problem with people because i think it wun be that great about me, its even worst turning to my parents for that cuz they most likely thinks that i'm wrong n then when we argue they tend to always thinks that they're right, yea i know they're older n wiser but that doesn't make them god, they're not all right all the time.
Then i start writting blogs hopefully to free myself, but sadly even words through wrtting are too fake to be true n even writtings are full of lies n nothing in here are making sense of my life i'm not being who i am, i'm creating a whole new jie here, one in which he has a better life than the real me, n the sad fact is i'm not as strong as what i hoped to be, but for honor sake for pride sake i lied. remember how much i said about never giving up? well i gave up on things all the time, like when i was young i gave up piano, than i gave up on sports, i gave up trying to do something, i even gave up to games that i can't finish, so basically i'm a bag full of shit, Bullshit.
so y the sudden urge to face something, y the sudden urge to admit to something. i know i'm a coward but hopefully i'm doing something real n true for once,lettting u guys know not to trust what u see, many illusions are created jz to make u feel amaze, but the real sad fact in life is, it can never be beautiful untill you realize the fact that life is not about holding on to something, but letting it go. thats what i'm trying to do letting go of everything in me, for once trying to be the real me infront of everyone.