Freedom's Junkyard

Money is too important

2011-02-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

In my blog, I stressed on living free, dreams, and other stuff like humanity or so, and many times when we speak of such things we're considered naive or maybe it's where i live, where dreams and living are heavily connected with wealth, even so as we move on into the future. Without wealth basically we're useless even with the vast knowledge or experiance we have and people just don't see individuals with dreams the right way, IF it is not about gaining wealth. I do try speak of my dream and thought of living free and stuff about dreams and the world and humanity, but often maybe always their comments are,"You still need money to do all those stuff that you want to do" or " You're too naive and when you want to grow up?". Perhaps yea, i do need all those money in the world to prove my point. If you're an adventuror you'de be considered as useless, unless somehow you become famous and rich than it's all different, and it's only different because now you have money.

Seriously i'm not anti money and stuff like that, i do love money and i mean a lot, what else could buy me what i want. But i just thought that if childrens are brought up with the idea of wealth is the only dream they should have, than that is the cause of many wars and fights and other grief and ignorance to the beauty of life and living, and the exploitation of nature and humanity to gain wealth. Because people don't care what business you're in they just want to know the figure you bank in, the more the better and capable person you are even when your business includes exploiting nature and humanity. And when we speak of those kind of people who damages the world, causes war and fights, naturally everyone would start to act all righteous and condemn those people, but seriously i think instead of pointing fingers at those people, we should all start by pointing to the one we see when we look into the mirror, because all those problems starts with a dream and greed for wealth and also the teaching from society the importance of wealth and money over any other stuff that comes to mind, because every conflict starts with greed for money.

One of the reason why there are less good and happy people in the world, and there are more stress in life, it's because of the way people are brought up these days. Back then, i mean way back then when knowledge are gained for good and to help people, now knowledge are gained for wealth. relationships are made for profitable reasons instead of purely from the heart, and everyone seems to have their own agenda and plot. Dreams should be something happy and good and noble, but now it all comes down only to gain wealth, with all those thoughts pouring in stressing on gaining wealth instead of living well and free and good and happy and stuff like that, that is why people in the modern world have more stress and are less happy , it is also the cause of many psycological disease and depression also because pharmaceutical company wanted to gain profit by selling drugs to cure what i think can be cured if the world move into the right direction. Yes money is important, and there are no arguements to that, but Dreams and Good and Humanity and Happiness are equally as important, children should not be taught that only money can bring them happiness, let them know how beautiful the world is, how life should be treasured and explore what the world has to offer and preserve instead of how to gain profit from it. People waste time going around analyse and find what causes depression and stress and other sad stuff going around, giving reasons and explanation about it, but everyone seem to shy away from the fact that the way people are taught and brought up right now is the cause of all those problems, and it's actually very easy to cure, just by changing peoples attitude and visions of what life should be. But sadly humans are humans, we tend to ignore the good things that makes you poorer, but it actually makes you a lot happier but everyone is too blinded by the thought that only money can make you happier, and how funny that is to see how ignorance man can be.

Yup, money can buy you the world, but it certainly can't buy you happiness. Just look at how happy the casino tycoon from Macau is right now. Ironically what makes you happy are making you sad right now, and the funny thing is people still don't realise that.

Humanity for cash

2010-11-28T11:35:00.000-08:00

Just Finished watching "No Regrets" the last 2 episode, it brings a lot of thoughts to my mind, it's touching, it kinda makes me think or imagined how would i look back through my life 30, 50 years later in life. I might be a very rich old man or living poor waiting my time to come, but when i look back what would i see? is there any story worth telling? any experiance worth sharing? Or just looking back and say, "how i wish i did better when i had the chance." or "i could've made it but i din't." or "my life is just as plain and nothing is worth sharing or any adventure worth telling.". I fear life is nothing more than just repeating the same thing, we need adventures to make our life interesting, stories of how we survived through the war like when i hear about stories how my grandparents survive those harsh times, how life is as hard as we in this era could ever imagined, perhaps too hard for people today, and yet they survived. I wish i had my own story to tell, my own adventure to share, i might not be rich but at the very least i lived a rich life full of adventures and stories worth sharing and proud of. All but just a dream.

Living today isn't about having stories to tell, but materials to show off. It isn't about relationships but social networks. Living today is about living life to the expectations of others, instead of being true to ourself. Many claimed to be so, to me it's all hypocrissy, no one lived true enough to themself anymore, or perhaps material wealth is all that matters in the world today, being rich is basically second nature to everyone next to having to eat. I, myself is hypocritical, just as everyone else, i do things to project image to impress others, just as everyone else, and it all comes naturally, just as everyone else. I know and really wanted to live life, to enjoy every beautiful moments to experiance adventure life throws at me. I really wanted to. But "Life" just isn't allowing me to, because money seem to be slowly replacing faith and humanity. We see people that would do anything just for money, torturing innocent animals, killing, all those ugly things people would do just for those cold hard cash. People would do anything to be rich, everyone wants to be rich, and that scares me, life is now just about showing off a bunch of material goods, even gaining knowledge is just for the purpose of being rich. The sad thing is, people really envy those who have more money than those who have more wisdom. Today Humanity and Wisdom are jokes and fairy tales, Money and Material goods are reality. Long live Humanity!!

what everyone wants

2010-11-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to fly,
to go places where everything's fine,
to be where they belong,
to do anything they want,
to feel freedom.

Everyone wants,
but no one dare,
to reach out and grab,
to hold, to feel, to take,
everyone fears what they want most.

Everyone have wings,
that could take them anywhere they want,
to places they desired to be,
to do anything they want,
all everyone need is to spread their wings.

Everyone's wings have crippled,
too long trapped in a gildered cage,
lost in a jungle of greed and fear,
controled by rules made to control,
funny how everyone wants what they were born with.

The existence of everything

2010-09-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

Lately i found that the question of God's existence is a popular question. I'll start of with my point of view to all those questions about God.

Do God exist? a question which puzzled the minds of millions or billions or bascialy everyone on this planet. Yes or no, it'll still attract arguments from extremist from both sides because we can't prove either. It's also because both extremes are blind to other possibilities beside their belief so they won't be satisfied untill the other side said "sorry i'm wrong", the highly religious group will condemn the other group to hell and the atheist will bash the religious group to their own hell. Seriously if you keep asking question about one end the answers will never be found because no matter how you explain stuff there will be non-believers, there will be questions. And co-existence never came to the mind of those people.

Atheist said the universe starts with a big bang, the deist ask what created the big bang? The deist said God created the universe, the atheist ask who created God? it's a never ending circle of questions but either side can put out cold hard evidence. Seriously the best way to prove facts is by showing evidence instead of questioning theory. Well some even resorted to insulting the other side for stating their own opinion. I'm not trying to judge or being stereotypical but most often i find highly religious people react violently, if you believe in what you believe than there should not be violence specialy religious people, i don't recall any religion promoting violence and anger.

Even when we put aside atheism, there will still be arguments to which religion is the true religion. Seemingly the more religious one group of people are the more they blind themself to what the religion taught them, no religion in this world teaches you to react to non-believers violently or promoting insults to other religious group, none, if there is please do correct me and i'll stay away from you and your religion. When one group of religious people react violently, it shows that they fear of what they believe is false they fear of going to hell and losing their comfort of being exclusive, so they react violently and start insulting other religion and people or even start a fight or worst a war. Even if what you believe is true i don't see any reason why your God should send you to heaven, when a fight or war starts in your God's name then that is the biggest insult to your own religion, your own God, believing is one thing, learning from what your religion taught you is another thing, believes itself will only this far, practicing the teaching will take you higher or at least as a person, you're more respectable. Violence is never what a God or Gods wants from their believers. Sadly most wars in history starts more or less due to religious violence, i can assure you the ones who started the war will not end in good place.

The best way is to believe in what you believe, forgive those who does not believe in what you believe, understand that instead of finding ways to disapprove others why not find ways to prove that you're right, but never through violence or insults, because even if you are right but what you did was wrong so even with believes itself would not take you to where you want to be. There are reasons for everthing but not all reasons are understandable, when a war is started, both sides are evil no matter what is your cause.

I'm not here to prove or disapprove anything, because there are possibilities in everything and we don't have answers to everything. But the moment we insult someone or start a fight with someone on what they believe or what they disbelieve, we're starting a fight against what we believe in, because no religion in this world promote violence. Every war started in God's name is a war started against God.

Well, live free, be happy. Make love, not war :)

31st of August, independence day no more.

2010-08-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

It's 31st of August, everything seem so normal, as though nothing had happened before, as though it's a day when we all need not go to work, and the only joy from this day is that everyone doesn't need to work and that's about it. Independence day means nothing more than a regular holiday, if that is so, do we still need to mark this day as important? or have we forgotten that it's independence day?

I remember waking up in the morning and watch the march and parade for the celebration of independence day through tv, back then it meant a lot more than it does today, people do not really care anymore. Everyone seem to have given up hope for this country, the future of this country now in the hands of some incompetent few, corrupted, greedy, an insatiable desire for money, now the main job of the government of this country is to suck this country dry of any financial resource that was left since independence day, perhaps we should mark that day as the day the British had forsaken us. Each year our country seem to fall deeper and deeper into chaos, we see progress in all the ASEAN countries but not ours, every time we look at our growth it breaks our heart to know that we're losing out on everything and as though we're the only one that goes backwards.

The truth is there is no perfect government in this world, only better ones, corruption is everywhere, but, others still have a sense of patriotism toward their country and try their best to also move the country forward. To be frank, I'm disappointed not in the level of corruption of our government but the stupidity of our government, if you only take, someday it'll eventually end. For example a farm, if a farmer is stupid enough to take all the fruits at one time even the green ones and didn't even bother to take care of the trees eventually the trees will die the farm will end and there would be nothing left and the farmer will be laughed at by the other farmer, Instead if the farmer take lesser fruits and leave the green ones to grow, and put some effort into the farm than it'll become a source that will never end. It's sad to know that our future here is in the hands of not only greedy, but also stupid people, the best combo for a country to crumble.

I'm seriously proud to be a Malaysian, and i love Malaysia, but i seriously despise the current ruling party not only for it's corruption, but also it's level of stupidity. Also despite the fact that the government is on a 1 Malaysia project, but it's also their people that has been making racist remarks. Just when everything seem fine there will always be someone that will ruin everything. A word of advice for the government, if you have people that will sabotage your effort of making a better world, cut of the weakest link before it drags you down along with them, oppressing the people will only take you this far, gaining the support of the people will take you to a higher place.

any lower you have to dig a hole

2010-08-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

Lately, my heart feels like it's so heavy it's popping out anytime soon. There's so much negative energy around me i feel like I'm going crazy, everything seem so bleak and blur that never would there be anything good happening this time around, as though I'm stuck in a black hole of negative energy and I'm drowning in bad luck. Life can never be worst that this ever, well that's what i thought, and i sure hope that i thought wrong about it.

I was watching Glee, good show and i think everyone should watch it, at the very least it's something fun to watch and they have songs that would bring up your spirit when you're feeling low, for now i guess nothing can get any lower, failing an exam, a little relationship bumps, household arguments, financial headache, and a very very sadly low self esteem, it would help if i know of someone that is now living an even a suckier life cause it seriously helps, i was just kidding, it's the negative energy talking. In the show that i was talking about they were singing "holding on" by Avril Lavign, and their version was better i think, well at least for that little moment i was lifted wasn't that sad, just keep holding on, and we'll make it through, and i hope my life will make it through, i seriously do, and i know it will.

It's obviously that I'm having a tough time and feeling seriously low right now so pardon my negativity but hey what's better that to know that there are still even lower life form out there, sorry, another negative energy talk. I would like to post the glee song on my page but sadly i couldn't find any of the video on youtube except for the karaoke version which only has backing singing in the whole damn video, you know you're bad luck when you can't even find a damn song in youtube, seriously, millions of people uploading video no glee song that i wanted? seriously?

Peace out and good luck to me.

how long was i asleep and dreaming?

2010-08-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

Today my world seem to end right after i click the view button at the exam results website, i failed, there was no excuse as to why i failed, it's all because i was not taking things seriously, and i admit i didn't even try hard enough to make things right, to study as hard as i should, deep down somehow i knew this is what i deserve, no one to blame but myself.

The whole day i was with my friend watching movie and all but i kept having this feeling that i was so wrong, that how would i face my dad and telling him i failed again, yes again, and your son is a big fucking failure, that fails everything in life. I always thought "hey I'm not that bad, thing would always pull through." seems like i was lying to myself all the time, i ain't that great, i can't even pass a fucking exam. I suck as what i am and i suck at what i am doing, i ain't great at anything 'cept for denying facts about myself that i know about myself and think that I'm good at what I'm doing when i suck big time at everything I'm doing, I SUCK!!!

And I'm a hypocrite myself, i tell people about future, but when it comes to myself i can't even see what's ten steps ahead, if i can't even study hard enough what gives me the right to criticize what people are doing? Next time i feel like saying something bad about anyone i really should start by looking into the mirror. I whine about everything bad going on and do nothing to fix anything, this is bad that is bad, everything is bad the world is bad, and i did nothing but whine about everything. I seriously need rehabilitation, i need help, i need support, all that i don't really deserve.

I always have a reason to everything, i always thought that i should deserve better, i always thought that i can pull everything together, i always thought that i could do anything as long as i wanted to, obviously i thought wrong and it's all a fucking lie. I am nothing more but an empty tin can that make noise so much about everything when i don't even have proof to back me up.

Enough of all the self blaming and whining, what i really need now is to change my useless attitude, i need to be more serious about life and everything i do, i need a chance, i need a change, the old me has proven to be wrong, and I've wasted 22 years to realize I'm wrong. If there's anyone reading, laughing right now, it's ok i deserve all the insult, but i also beg forgiveness for what i did wrong and a chance to change, and support i can get to change, I'm useless by myself.

Sorry, truly i vow to change.

surviving a nightmare

2010-08-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

I am so into survivor horror game lately, specially when it's zombies. Shooting them, burst their heads off, punch a hole at the abs, of all the thrill of surviving through the whole nightmare. not only games, manga, movie, anything. I'm not fascinated with the dead or sick stuff, sometimes i would ask myself what would i do in a zombie outbreak? with my skills and who i am, how far would i go?would i become a hero like what i did in the game or read in mangas or watched in movies, or i'm jz another jerk that would selfishly hide all the resources for myself and unleash the beast that is in me doing evil in times of trouble like what we also see in those kind of stories?

But what i really realized was that zombies and surviving fascinates me so much is because it's whats inside of me. Don't get me wrong but i'm trying to survive in this world and every moment passed freaks me out, time seem to flow so fast i can't even take a grasp of what it's like the last moment or even any happy moments, every moment is a struggle to find my existence, every moment i try to find my cause, my goal, my future and a good rest too is hard to find my heart swarms with ideas, ideals, logic, sense, emotions, fear, everyday i have to find something to do, to distract me from those fear, those void that i felt every single time when i'm alone, even sometimes with everything going on i feel lonely, i struggle to shake those feeling off, but sometimes even with all those around me i still can't run from it, sometimes with everyone around me i feel like i'm trying to survive in a zombie outbreak, and every zombie is me, every zombie i shot is every fear i'm trying to kill in me, every bit of loneliness, every bit of void that i felt, that is why i'm so in to zombie surviving games lately.

Sometimes i feel like jz go off alone to see the world that i've been longing to see, the adventure, the excitement of being alone in a foreign world and explore the beauty and experience the danger, the mysteries, meet new people, and feel the world. Perhaps i wasn't afraid of being alone, the loneliness comes from the void of not being able to do what i have to, the fear of having nothing, the fear of losing everything, the fear of time passing, everyday seem shorter when scientist is saying that everyday is becoming longer. I want to be who i want to be, but fear gets the hold of me, fear of not being able to be or to live my dream, and i dream is what i fear to lose most, i don't want to be jz another zombie, i want to live my life, but i realized as the world nears modernization, materiality is what is more important than mere dreams and everyone seem to lose their dream as the grow older, i fear being one of them and one day i realizes that all the things we have and all the wealth we have can't be exchange for the dream we lost. I fear of growing old, i fear of growing old not being able to live my dream. Sometimes i'de rather be a little boy and enjoy everyday as it is because back then i don't need that much money, i don't need that much gadget, i don't need to eat the most expensive things, all i need is to wake up run around and dream that everyday is a happy day and everyone's happy. But now happiness lies in what we have, what i have, and what you have, it seems everyone love rich people and admires them, and can't seem to find happiness until they are one of them, everyone stuck in a material chase their whole life and eventually lose their childhood dreams, and sooner children would think like that wealth is everything, dreams and ideals would all be the same, everyone wants to be rich, and worst of all parents are planting the idea to their young of being rich instead dreams and adventures in life, everything now revolves around money sadly even love. Simple people live the happiest life, crazy people are always happy, normal people will only always be finding happiness. All my fears, my loneliness, is i think caused by the society today, where everything is measured not by heart but by gold.

I fear the world today, i fear of losing my dream, i fear of getting old, i fear of losing everything, i fear of having no purpose in life but to only become rich, i fear of surviving. I want to rest and sleep tight, i want a home, i want a dream, i want a life, i want Freedom.

Remember, remember the 5th of November

2010-07-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Remember, remember the 5th of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot,
I see no reason
Why the gunpowder treason,

should ever be forgot.

Sounds familiar? well it's part of the poem of the gunpowder treason in England, which sounds cool for some reason, maybe it's because of the movie V for Vendetta. Brilliant movie if u ask me and i recommend everyone to watch it, specially here the country where i'm living.
Make no mistakes but i love my country the place where i was born, a small little country that seem to have everything, peace, protection from the fury of nature, abundant of resources, everything that makes a great country. until our GOV said we have financial issues which i think it's funny cause they're been buying second hand military stuff from other country, which are now using state of the art hi-tech new weapons and still could rip off something from the old junk by selling it to some country that is smart enough to have bought it. Air force 1 for our prime minister, and we teach our children never to spend more than what they earn and deserve, irony. Another wise word from the movie, "The people should not be afraid of the government, the government should be afraid of the people". And when everything went wrong it's obvious that we should voice out and speak our mind, not for the sake of our own pleasure but the people we love, our fellow countrymen, we have a choice of making the country we love a better place.
Very often people relate government to a country, but it's not the same thing, hating the government is not treason, siding the opposition is not a fault but a choice we make that we hoped that it would bring good to this country, our freedom is not in the hands of the few, our freedom lies in the choice we make, our freedom should and has always been in our own hands.
Change is a taboo in many people's mind, as change brings about uncertainty, uncertainty brings about fear, and fear is what they want us to feel when a certain government is spreading propaganda. But change can also bring about hope, a hope that we could be free from what we dislike and our freedom is not anymore lies within the interest of a few.
Freedom is more than words we speak or actions we do, freedom is opportunity for everyone to rise, freedom is the idea we could all share, an idea that one day we would all lived as equals as a free men.
A government's job is not to rule a country, but to run the country and to serve the country well, of all to defend the rights and freedom of the people. Without the people the government has no powers, without the government the people can form a new one. and this is all in our hands.
Maybe a revolution could change the world or at least the country we love and the freedom we longed for.

directions, ideas and activity wanted

2010-07-18T12:57:00.001-07:00

it's been a long time, i'm getting estrange with this place,
and i've jz renovated the whole blog and everything looks better, at least to me it does.
i'm free, free from many things, waiting for results, waiting for days to pass,
can't seem to find myself an ideal part time job, and i'm learning to play the guitar,
yes i am, once a week and i can't stop imagining how well i can play later after i've learned everything, than i'll sing something and post it up here exclusively.
a word of advice, don't listen if i do really sing, you won't like it. but the fun part is still playing the guitar, i am saving to buy myself a guitar so if there is anyone kind enough to donate something
plz do tell me. :)
i'm still thinking of a direction to go writing this blog, more myself? more fun stuff? more reviews on various things? or jz keep track of my life and rant all i want?or make videos?
well i jz can't make up my mind, any ideas?
i know this is an old blog, but i kinda like this name alot so i continue using it and maybe from now going on a more interesting directions or topic, other than my rants and so on. but that doesn't mean i'll stop writing what my heart feels, it's still a place for me to express my thoughts.
also i'm in to gundam and figures lately and i bought myself some to add to my collection and hope to add more stuff in the future, well maybe this should be what i'm supposed to write about. anyways i'll share those pics with anyone still reading this blog later.
life is less active now and i really hope someone would call me up for some activity, hiking, jogging, anything, i want to be active again, and i'm getting fat, anyone plz hook me up with some activities, i'm so bored. boredom kills!!!
thats all for now, getting tired...good night...

How's the make over..?

2010-07-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

well, here's the new look...still finding ways n ideas to make it better...
but for now i think this will do...
any updates in my life will start after i think i'm done renovating this junkyard...
well, thanks for still tuning in...if you're still tuning in...someone..?anyone...?
haha...still feels kinda quiet like always...
bye bye.

the freedom's junkyard...

2009-09-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

freedom junkyard...
now, no more than a regular junkyard...
oh well, once in awhile the keeper comes in n sweep some dirt of his back...
leaving behind words that meant so little...
yet expresses alot of feelings...
yes...feelings...
in words...left behind by the keeper...
once in a while some stray comes in browse through the junkyard for something useful...
or entertaining piece of crap at least, but little does he noe that...
junkyard no matter how well renovated or cleaned is still a junkyard...
wasted words n thoughts left behind by the keeper...
for the freedom of the keeper, n others, if truly understands what the keeper meant all this time...
well, though full of crap...sometimes one may find something quite different from the other junk...
sometimes music flow softly through the junkyard...
sometimes wisdom of the keeper is engraved on this cracked walls...
sometimes sentimental echos can be heard as if the wind is telling something...
sometimes "emo" wave ripple across the vast wasteland...
sometimes..some trash note jz to make the keeper feel much better...
but when the keeper leave his boring junkyard...
to the world we all called reality...
he is no more but another man...
not the owner of some vast junkyard...
not someone with the freedom everyone dreamed for...
n words n thoughts cannot jz comes out of his mouth...
a world where everyone is bound to something...
something we cannot see...something we can only feel...
gravity...
from earth...
from other ppl...
from ourself...
to not let us dream...
to not let us speak...
as we all live in what we called reality...
but once in awhile...we see ppl who seemingly defy logic...
ppl we envy...
ppl with true freedom...
ppl we envy yet annoyed by their carefree thoughts..
cuz life to others is no more than to own things...
to impress...
to win...
but never to live free...
therefore the keeper created this junkyard...
to escape reality...
n yet not daring enuf to seek true freedom...
therefore he seek refuge in this wasteland...
to take a rest from the reality he is not daring enuf to defy...
this is the story of the freedom junkyard...

love is like a rose

2009-07-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

love is like a rose,
that bloody red feeling of love,
that mesmerising beauty you felt in love,
that wondrous scent that made you fell in love with,
that thorn that pierce through our heart,
so pain yet so addicting,
such a dangerous beauty,
craved by many mortals and divines alike,
sacrificing everything for just a taste of it,
a taste of such sweet poison,
for all the pain and labour,
in exchange for such mysterious flower,
that gives pain and pleasure,
heartfelt and heartbreak,
such bloody red feeling,
such mesmerising beauty,
such wondrous scent,
such painful thorn,
yet only becuase of such feelings,
that keeps us all wondering,
that curious mixture of emotions,
that makes us all in love with that bloody rose.

-JiE-

sad days, happy moments, great times...

2009-06-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

it's been another long long weeks after my "emo" post...
haha...like they all say...u don't write a blog untill u feel emo...
but not today...
today's about alot of things...
n the 1st i wud like to address is the death of a legend...
Micheal Jackson...Rest in peace...
love your songs n will always do...
n i believe there wud never ever be another like MJ...
it's a sad sad day...
but the good news is my notebook is repaired...
i can now once again rule the world from my tiny room...
life is all great if any of u were thinking of how jie is lately...
still the same ol' jie u noe...
abit boring...less late nites...less games...i'm seriously getting old...
late nites makes me feel so tired...
plus for some reason i now have very limited late nite opportunity...
personal reasons...but daytime activity...is still very much A okay...
watched less movies...due to tighter budget...
but still manages to watch some that would make history....
terminator...not as great...but still not dissapointing...
good action...good actor...good director...huge budget...cool robots...
17 again...surprisingly good...
at 1st i thought it wud jz be another teen flick...
but it turns out that Zac is a really talented actor...
funny...romantic...meaningful...
must watch...no specially hot girls...but still worth a watch...
n than the all time favourite...
Transformers...
bigger action...more robots...richer story...n megan is still so hot...
if u miss this one...u'll live to regret that u've made a stupid mistake...4ever...dvd would never be the same...unless u have ur own home theater...with a 2 storey high silver screen...n an earth shaking surround sound system...if anyone of u have...plz give me a call...i wud love to be ur fren...
well, waiting for G.I Joe...it seem very promising...
oh yea before i forgot...angels and demons...not to say great...cuz it's easily forgotten when there are terminator n transformers competing...
but it's a good movie no doubt...
oh life is still so much so jie...but with some slight twist..
as i'm now controlled...n that is as much as i can say...
anyway...lets have a moment of silence to pay respect for the late MJ...
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.
n there u go...
time to sleep...good nite...good bye...good luck...
peace out...

the real life, the real jie

2009-05-24T10:11:00.001-07:00

i m jie..nothing more...
i used to think i'm a dreamer...
it turns out that my dreams are empty...
it's words decorated beauifully...to make myself special...to be someone with a difference...
i'm nothing more than a real person like everyone...that masked myself behind some made up dream to be different, i'm no more than some regular guy...
but it is only now that i understand that i've been hiding behind my so called dream for too long...
too long...
i used to think that i understands freedom...i practice freedom...but i don't...
i have freedom...oh yes i do...almost as much as i can get...but i'm not free...
i thought that i can understand free will so good that i can actually don't care about some stuff...
but i can't...my minds r not free...i m filled with jealousy...haunted by self doubt...hungry for recognition...living in total lost n sadness...
as i now know that i'm not living free...i'm merely running free...like a mad man trying to escape the truth...living in dreams...finding happiness in lies created by myself...living high by stepping on other's mistake, which i eventually make them myself...how low can one get...?
i'm really sorry...
i've been living a lie...
a lie which i wanted it to be true...
i'm but a narrow minded person living in a lie to live higher n greater...which would fall...n crash...n i wud eventually lose everything...i'm awake n i'm god damn tired...
now i jz wan to be free...really free from those lies...free from negative thoughts n feelings...
too tired to go on telling lies to everything i've done to make myself better...
i now jz wan to be useful...n start to find myself a path which i always runs from...a goal to achieve..a dream to fulfill...
well...now i'm too tired to go on...good nite...hate me, scold me, laugh at me as u like...i'm sorry...

better than ever...

2009-03-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

well, life can never be better i tell u all...
1st i have a fren with a family problem...in which i'm accused of being someone i'm not...seriously u dun wanna know what...u wun believe it anyway...
that cause quite an uproar here with one of my other fren, in which also being accused of being that kind of person he's not...
n some others with some kind of funny jokes...well, life ain't easy for my fren here...haha...but lately i think he's quite ok...did talked abit about stuff that happened...he's fine...
2nd of all i've spoiled my very own computer...early forensic states that it's the burn-up or breakdown of the motherboard...will send it to the HP centre for further investigation...but it sucks big time...now i'm resorting to internet cafe of my brothers computer...all my songs n files are gone...rest in peace...
n when things can't get any better...here comes the ipod...with the keypad malfunction...n here goes my daily jogging routine with my songs...n i'm sending it in to the factory too...they say bad things comes twice...n i got it 3 times...well, theres a saying that when things can't get any worst...good luck wud come...hopefully it's true...cuz i'm desparate for luck...

well...maybe i'm abit bad luck but i do stumble upon some good movies too...maybe one...it's marley n me...it's not that entertaining in the trailer...but as always, never trust the trailer...it turn out to be good...simple comedy...some reality...some happy stuff...some sad stuff...n one good movie...shud go for it...if u're looking for something fun n easy...n some tears for some ppl...

what's life without some bad luck..?bad luck seem to come quite often as they always do, cuz we dun really seem to remember good things that happened...taking things for granted is like what we do best...we're born with that talent...we jz have to keep on living...

bad stuff will go n good stuff will come...
Chao~~

life on the run...

2009-03-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

everyone...!!!i've watched Dragonball...
don't watch it now!!!if u want to, watch with a student card...
it doesn't worth the 10bucks u'll b paying...trust me...
but it's not really such a bad movie...quite entertaining, quite funny...n the girls are hot...go watch it if u're out of movies to watch...
but if u wan to go for something good...maybe great...go for 7pounds...
i'm not gonna spoil anything here...go watch it urself...
will smith is always my hero...

i'm a little confuse lately, or shall i say frustrated...with alot fo things...
study, life n stuff...u know...stuff...haha...thinking of many things...
my mind is never quiet...even now i'm thinking...of something...of someone...ARGHHHH!!!!!!i hate this kind of feeling...i jz wan to be free...
but i've found a way to give me some peace...
even for a moment it feel so good that i wan to do it again...
of'cuz...it's not drugs...no drugs here in my blog...!!!got that...?!!!
running...i've been running again lately...too much thinking thats y...
everytime i run i feel so free...all i have in mind is to run n run n run n run...nothing else...n after i reach my goal/destination i can't feel anything but tired n some little aching feeling that makes me feel so alive...n all i can do is laugh...n everything seem so calm n peaceful...
but than again...the nex day everything came back...n i feel like running again...haha...i guess u jz can't run away from problems...haha...
oh well, tomorrow i off to find that moment of peace again...haha...

i know no one really reads my blog...but...i would like to ask if there anyone...interested in hiking/jogging...find me..maybe we can group some ppl n form some group or something that we can all do this together...i mean maybe u're looking for some incentives to do some exercise...n this may be a good thing...but...i guess kids nowadays like clubs, drinks, money, games n sex..more than anything haha...jkjk...

anyway...u know where to find me...here...
peace out..~~

Life...!~~~

2009-03-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

i've been tagged..but i'm very sorry YC i'm jz too lazy...n u dun wan to know whats on my playlist...yall might think that i came from the 80's haha...
so plz try not to tag me, everyone...i'm a lazy time travelling freak...i love peace...haha...

i wan to see the world, i wan to feel the difference, i wan to taste the sweetness, i wan to share their sorrow n to experience their happiness...i wan to backpack around the world...!!!!
well often when i speak of enjoying life what comes into ppl's mind is money that wud be spent...thats stereotyping...!!!enjoying life is to cherish life, not to spend money...n often they wud consider those with a free spirit immature becuz they r not thinking of making big money, they r not thinking of being at the top of the corporation chart, they r not thinking of owning the world...all they think is to enjoy life as it is...n to share it with the world...n letting go n be free...often there ideas are considered impossible n stupid n of'cuz immature n a taboo...specially in a conservative society...but if those "matured" dude are matured enuf they shud have understand that life ain't complicated, life is nothing more than simple n free...but us humans are complicated, often obses with fame, wealth, power n desires...selfishly keeping everything to themselves, making money n money n money n money...owning everything they want...having everything...almost everything but the pure simplicity of life n freedom...they enjoyed luxury stuff but they don't see how it come to exist...they feel n taste the best in which is calculated n measured by money but the best things in life is everything around u its life itself...of'cuz living free isn't living rich...everyone can live rich but not every1 can live free...every1 can own everything but not every1 can share eveything...so tell me whos immature..?

haha...well i'm jz trying to whine my way through boredom...dun take it too seriously it's jz my point of view...anyway...damn tired rite now...chao..!!~~
good nite everyone...~~

back n ready...

2009-02-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

finally back on the line...
ohh...what to say, what to say...
i've been losing touch with it now i don't really know what to write about...
alright...lets start with what i'v been up to lately...
alot...hiking alot...fooling around alot...due to the fact that i have alot more time than any of my frens...can u imagine one class a week...thats how much time i have...but sooner or later i'll have to be like some of them who have to study like hell day and night...but till than, life is to be enjoyed...
movies u ask...?oh well...kinda lose touch with movies too...
but i'm gonna make up with it weeks to come...
but i still manages to watch some....
like the curious case of benjamin button and eden lake...thats jz about it....
sad isn't it...yea...but this week alot more is coming out...n hell i'm gonna storm the cinema...
well the review for benjamin button from me was great...
good movie...abit of laughter, abit of sadness, abit of imagination...n abit of brad pitt and kate blanchett...beautiful...good movie, must watch...
eden lake however...suck big time...abit of gore, abit of silly gangster wannabe british teenager, n abit of stupid couple who got killed in the end...but...the girl was beautiful tho...but it won't help much to save the ratings of the movie...u'll still walk out of the cinema feeling like u jz got punked by some british director...thats how sad it is...
well i have my eyes set of punisher...n others too...
will be back with the review...
n let me enjoy the joy of being back on line...happily ever after...
chao...!!!gonna surf the net...

bad week

2009-02-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

what a week...what a week...
no internet connection....
class is only once a week...
lost my beloved neckleass somewhere in my house...i guess...
n the worst of all...Katrina Darrell is out of American Idol...
what can be worst than that...?tell me...tell me...!!!!
ok thats it i'm out of here coming to internet cafe to do blog stuff is jz lame....n i'm doing it...i'm lame...
so...gonna go play some games now...
i'll pawn someone so bad to make up for this lame-ness....hopefully...
n of'cuz becuz, they kick Katrina out of american idol...WHY...?!!!
u've jz made ur ratings gone down american idol...u hear me...?!!!
peace out...

Hypocrisy

2009-01-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

Hypocrisy filled world,
disguised truth,
clouded minds,
blinded intentions,
the selfish giving,
all, a way of living.

The truth we seek so eagerly,
yet living by blissful ignorance.
The peace we yearn so forcefully,
backfired, more lives sacrificed.
The earth we loved so dearly,
scotched, burned, scarred.
The lives we cared so much,
died, passed, forgotten with time.

The future, almost crystal clear,
the life we lived uncertain.
The poor, mourns in our very ear,
our deafness suddenly appears.
Only in time of needs,
we appreciate, we whine, we cry,
Only to be forgotten again, with lies.

-Jie-

what a great party n chinese new year...

2009-01-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Chinese New Year everyone....!!!

i can smell food...fire crackers...n of'cuz...ang pow comin in...man i jz love new year...

so...everyone...have fun...n...doing well in everything u're gonna do this coming year n so on...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE....!!!!!

so, on saturday i went to a party called...PARTY 21...

it's a party to celebrate that us, the 21 yearer stepping into adulthood...

at Tanjung Bungah Beach Hotel...

1st i have to say the food was ok...n the orange juice taste like tap water...

but i met alot of old frens...frens which i never thought i wud see again in my life...frens that i even have forgotten their names...frens which i've not seen since primary school...it was...so great to meet everyone again...

though i have my odd moments when i dun really know their name...n when i dun really talk to some of them...

everything is great...alot of old frens n alot of new frens...n hotties haha...though i was kinda dissapointed with the princess 21 winner... someone else shud have won the tittle...

i went with a little bit of fear...that it wud be boring since i'm not really the stay-in-touch kinda person n many wud have forgotten my name...but it turn out to be different...

when i saw everyone it's kinda heart warming...seriously...cuz i really thought i wud never see them again in my life...so i was really happy...n i know...somehow...this might jz be the last time i have such a wonderful reunion with them...the night was beautiful, everyone was great...n i hope someday they'll do it again...

i wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR...GOODLUCK...HAVE FUN WITH LIFE....

heres a little something from the party...jz a little...haha...

Humans

2009-01-21T10:50:00.000-08:00

again i'm dead bored n i'm here pouring everything in my mind to this little comfort zone of mine...
so...my last post was a song written by simon cowell, and sang by leona lewis...is it beautiful...?personally i think everything is beautiful about the MV...from the song to the video to leona...
so once in awhile u'll see such beauty that makes u think...
think about many stuff...in the video i see children crying, smilling...all those emotions that r real...so real it makes it beautiful...
maybe i'm jz tired of all those fake smiles n tears in our "civilised" world...
and freedom...such beautiful word use in so many lies...in so many forms...
and justice, used to justify their own greed...
and power to fill their bottomless desire...
and self proclaim rightousness to blind themselves of their own wrong-doings...
maybe i'm jz describing men...
n i'm one of them...n i'm tired of it...n let me be me, here...as a being of the world but not a human...
be free, as true freedom doesn't come from fights, or wealth, or knowledge...freedom is a sense of letting go of everything, n for once be a part of everything n yet possesing nothing...
if we can live freedom, than there is no need for a leader, there is no need for a country, there is no need for politics, or elections, or power, or wealth...cuz all we need is the world n ourselves...

2009-01-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

beautiful...listen n enjoy...

make-over

2009-01-16T01:03:00.000-08:00

i'm doing a lil make-over here...

add a few stuff...a little this n that...n some old music...i mean real old...but i like them...

add a little chatbox...but i doubt it'll spice up much in here...

n so on my journey of touring many other ppl's blurge...i was overwhelmed by their diligence in so many stuff...i mean whao..!!!pictures(which i dun really put them in my blog), different fonts n colours(they actually have time to put in all this), n side-stuff which i jz added a few...

all i did is pouring my thoughts in here...not that i dun have the time...i jz dun have the extra will to put in all those stuff...lets jz say i get bored with stuff way to easy...even if i do it once, i do it twice, i wun do it forever...haha...

but once in awhile i'll give it a try...haha i think it's kinda funny...n soooo not me...but it's fun...

ok American idol anyone...?

remember that bikini girl..?Katrina Darrell well...heres her pic...hope u guys like it...i definitely love it haha...well enjoy...

so...?haha..figured that from now on girls wud hate me guys wud love me...hahaha...

oh well...what a revolution...hmm...it's kinda fun but, this small post has surely wasted the most time doing...

goodbye...

PS: will put in guys pic next post haha...(maybe)(but rest assured that it's not mine...haha)

finally i'm back online...

2009-01-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

finally finally finally...i'm back on the damn line...
i found out that i wasn't really TM's fault that my internet cannot be used,
for the past few weeks...
apperently i was the rat...who chew of bits of the wire...ahahaha...(it's going down if i sees it again)
anyway...been skipping alot of fun stuff here...y...cuz of the darn rat...
well, lifes been good...kinda...having fun in many ways...
school started so jams r like back to normal...n the crowded mall is now lonely again...well less hot chicks less crowd less fun, but more room...
oh yea...i've been wanting to spill out everything about this new place i went...coffee island...great place...good coffee...nice view...what it lacks is some hot chics in bikinis...haha...oh well at least i dun have to go till sunset bistrol its nice but kinda far...but anyway alcohol is so not my style...i love coffee so coffee island is the best choice...
well i've been watching a few movies lately but can't really remember where to start telling...
so i'll skip everything n go straight to yesterday, i watched beverly hills chi hua hua well not a bad movie, but a kids movie...it pack a few laugh...it's good...it's drew berrymore...so go watch it if u have nothing else in mind...but if u do...ditch this...unless u have to bring ur own kids to the movie...
alas, the moment we've been waiting for is back...
American idol season 8...n this year i bet it's gonna be just as fun...
plus i saw this hot chic yesterday that went to this audition wearing a bikini...so i was like shes hot, but i bet she can't sing...her voice actually is really beautiful...she can sing...!!!n she said if she passes she'll make out with ryan...n she did...oh i wish i'm ryan that very moment...oh well i'll jz have to wait for season 10 n maybe i'll kick ryan off n be the MC myself...it's jz a dream haha...
n than we have this blind guy who went to college at the age of 14 n graduated at 19...n he can play the piano...n sing...i mean he's like superman if everyones blind...infact he is superman even if we're normal...this guy rocks...i wish him the best of luck...oh n that hot girl too...gonna tube for her now...
bye...haha

dream

2008-12-29T04:02:00.000-08:00

i have a dream...
everyone does, dream as in dream of being or doing something...
some really wish they'de get rich...
as for the rich kids who spends alot they'de probably dreaming of having the coolest girlfriend ever...
some maybe both...some ppl jz wan to live life as it is...
some would love if they had everything...
n for those who are unfortunate they'de probably begging to god everyday jz to eat enough...jz to wear enough to not feel the cold...n maybe jz a simple dream that one day they might actually stop suffering...n i dun mean YOU...yeah..!!!YOU with ur fancy clothe n u wan more branded stuff...n YOU with ur food but u wanted lobsters n steak...n YOU, YOU there that jz got dumped, they got their families killed...n YOU, who only smile when u get ur ipod n laptop n brand new nike, when they would laugh so hard jz becuz they saw this plate of plain rice or even bread infront of them...sheesh isn't ppl nowadays hard to please...n US who are ignorant of their suffering n always thinks that we had the worst life ever...
everyone have dreams...
mine...i wud really want to backpack around the world...
not in a tour...not some fancy hotel stay...
only me, my backpack, my feet n the world...
to try things to know things to learn things from different ppl...
to see different aspects of their lives...the essence of different part of the world...
to conquer every adventure ahead of me...
to live life as life should be...FREE...
to understand others suffering like no others have...to help save or even to share a simple burden or to give what i could have...
if only i could journey into adventures, n write down every tales n stories of my adventures...to change lives...to help...if only i could...
to live life not as a man who worked all his life n earned millions when they have no stories or tales or adventure to tell or to share...
who could tell tales of my own adventure instead of telling tales of how OTHERS had their adventure...
well, i'll plan for my backpacking trip...i would hold on to my dream...
n i'm writting all down cuz when i have forgotten about my dream n started living a life like everyone would...ignorant...this would reminds me of my dream...
maybe after that i wud get a job or something...haha...gotta live real for once...but with a tale to share...life is a story...i wud like mine to be adventurous...
well if anyone who shares the same dream with me...plz do let me know...
kinda had enough of living in a mask...letting go is the only way to be free...
but its hard to let go hahaha...
to see the world, to feel it n to share it...

days before christmas

2008-12-25T11:05:00.001-08:00

Oh dear, i haven't really wish anyone merry christmas here...
well, merry christmas...
anyways, celebrated cristmas eve with a bunch of my frens,
at new world park...
i know that other happening places are gonna be pack with crazy ppl...
well, we had fun at new world than we switch to red, a place near bellisa row, it was...not to shabby haha...
before christmas eve i went to Kerachut once again with 3 of my frens...
the hike was normal...
but we had fun there at the beach...big waves coming, cool wind, hot sun, n pretty girls...jz perfect...ok i lied about pretty girls...but hey we had fun...
well, it's kinda hard to see girls that is really outgoing(well lets exclude clubs)n adventurous...specially in penang...
the hike back was so so so so tiring...cuz we din have lunch cuz we think we'de survive without them...of'cuz we did but so tiring, i was so hungry i could eat down a horse...i'll take this as a lesson not to not buy lunch before i go hiking again...
n before all those crap...i must mention that i celebrated a belated birthday with 3 of my frens...again happy 20th birthday to them, Rose, Hazel n Bernice...
we had dinner at sushi king n i brought along 3 of my frens...they were so quiet...the funny things i put 3 of my frens sitting with 3 of my other girl frens at a table cuz its too small me n the other guy have to sit at the other table the whole thing looks like a blind date thingy...u know where ppl meet each other at a blind date programme...but they were too quiet...haha maybe the guys abit shy...haha...
but we still manage to crack a few jokes before we went for a movie n chao...!!!
N whats jie's blog without movie review, so i mention about movie rite
i was watching yes man...seriously...if u dun go for this one...or u think u can skip this one...or u even dare think it wun be good...u dun deserve to watch any movie at all...so go...n this time i wun spoil anything...jz go...
on the other hand ip man was nice...the fighting was good...but somehow i feel it still lack of something...but it worth every penny u paid for...go for this one too...
n finally...new years coming...i wud like to wish everyone happy new year...
2009 is gonna be great...
n 2010 i jz up ahead...
so, be happy be free...

December

2008-12-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

So, hows the new look...look...look...look...?(echo)
haha like i thought it wud be...empty...
anyway do it cuz i'm getting tired of the same ol' boring stuff...

December...
well, since when i'm young december is always the best month of the year...
X'mas, colourful decoration, merry songs, and of all presents...
n i knew Santa is jz hocus pocus, but when someone dresses up as one i'll be asking for present like i realy believed in it...(we need some effort to get what we want)
but the best part of X'mas is, i get to drive around town with my family, watching those idiots having fun, getting drunk...n with the help of some songs it's a happy n fun night...
well thats when i'm young...now...X'mas is all about looking for discounts for the things u want to have...n so i got myself a watch with a lil help from dad...haha..
well hope yall get what u wan now...

well i watched a total of 3 animation this week, n a movie of alien saving earth...
comparing 3 of the animation i would say they're all good...funny...
as for the alien movie by the name, the day the earth stood still...
well, Jennifer connelly is still beautiful, Keanu Reeve is still good looking...
but the movie is lacking of something, i can't really say it's bad, but it's not great...deal with it...

i'm out of words,
getting tired of typing,
Bye...

losing the race...

2008-12-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

i've been busy this few weeks...
exams...after the exam, i'm crazily finding stuff to enjoy...to do...
than i went to singapore with my family...
there i realize that, we can never win in the race of being an advance country...not even to our tiny neighbour...
but i always heard about how they wan to improve our country...
how they wan to compete n how well we're doing...
well, after i've seen singapore...i know what they said are all bullshit...
we're not improving...we're still on the first few steps of the board game...
but seriously singapore is not like what i imagined...
u know, like sucky food...n stuff...
their food is actually quite nice, but penang is still the best...

well after i'm back i'm too lazy to start typing stuff...
so i still went on with my things finding, enjoyment quest...
but i only watched around 2 movies this week...
body of lies n transporter 3...
well body was nice...the terrorist n stuff...CIA agents...u know the secret service n terrorist stuff...
n leonardo's good acting n russell crowe...should go for this one...
than if u're into action...transporter is the one...
good action, little talking...for girls...jason still have that body...
as for guys the girl is really not that attractive when u first saw her...
but with a lil bit of patience n adaptation u would finally find her quite pretty n sexy too...
n they pretty much advertised audi the whole movie...
but seriously audi is kinda sexy, great performance, n classy...

well as for me...i'm...free...n i'm worrying about my results...
as a result of that i kinda feel hard to enjoy this holiday season...
but not to worry...when it comes to fun...i wun let u down jz yet...
haha...i'm starting to feel bored about this...well...i'm going off, good
bye now...

the place we live...

2008-10-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

when i look far far away...i see a void...
seriously i have a hole in my heart that i don't even know what fills it...
it always like i want to do something...
but i don't know what...
i'm missing something...
but i don't know what...
so...i'de do alot of stuff...jz to drown myself from that kind of feeling...
well except for trying real hard to study...
it's becuz of that hole i can't really focus...
i'll be thinking of other stuff...
phfff...but i'll try...
well again movie review of the week...
my best friend's girl...
by dane cook, kate hudson and...jason biggs from american pie...
it's a good movie...not great...not overwhelming...not explosive...
a good old american romantic comedy...which i think is very very funny...
something kinda like hitch...but...the opposite...
but they both make couples...
well hitch on the other hand...create chance for those regular guys which is not exceptionaly handsom...
n tank(that guy in the movie)...create a second chance for freshly break-up couples...
well as long as u got both there'de be less cases of divorce n non-handsom guys has a savior...but it's all in the movie...even if they do exist i don't think any regular guy would have enuf to pay their fees...haha...
well it's kinda romantic...at the same time they keep it light, wont get u all wet(tears)...but it provide a great dose of laughter...
n again thanks to the good ol' censorship board we have another good movie that has alot of cuts...n i really couldn't figured out what in the world would be in a romantic comedy that deserve so many cuts...
or maybe it's becuz of their(censors) F**k-up mind can't accept things...or understand things...or they really have to do something jz to not get fired...but anyhow we're the one thats pays for their stupidity, oh wait we actually(or our parents) paid taxes as their salary to make us miserable...so r they stupid or us..?geez...i'm confused...
but seriously an open mind keeps us clear...a conservative mind makes us who we are even after ten year, cuz they never learn, well once a dummy forever a dummy for them...
well back to the movie...if u're looking for something american-ish funny n at the same time makes u go awh....!!!well this is the one...
well i always have this american dream...
but i'm stuck here...
maybe its not as hollywood as it seems over there...
but it sure packs more freedom n openess...plus lotsa hot chicks...
well, improvement really don't go far when u're stuck with one mentality forever...specially a conservative one...
greatness falls upon those who dares to try...
oh well...i don't think we'll actually experience that for years to come...maybe forever...so we'll always listen to people saying how great other country is...
but we really can't actually blame them...we've never created anything great before well except for the tallest twin tower...
n we went to space using other people's equipment, rocket and even taking off elsewhere...n we're paying so much just to fly out of the earth atmosphere...n i still can't really see the purpose of that...
well actually i can, IF we build our own rocket, we fly it on our land, n actually put our flag on the moon...unfortunately we din't...well, keep up the good work...
but it is still very fortunate living here...specially in penang...it's not too hectic...not to crowded...it's actually (for me) the nicest place on earth...with great food...
well end of the story...i'm out of here...
wrote alot today...my fingers need some rest...
goodbye...

killing spree...

2008-10-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

i'm up late doing great...
probably going to be late for tomorrow's work...
or my mom would force wake me...
so i wont be late...
but i'll definitely look half dead...
but lets finish what i started...
well the pick of the week...goes to...
movie...again...
Tropic Thunder...
should go for it...but don't expect too much...
don't get me wrong, it's funny...full of high profile actors...
but the best it can go is worth the bucks u paid for...
shallow storyline...light comedy...funny lines...good actors...
but sadly...bad plot...plus...the idiotic censorship board cutting every single funny but to "them"(i mean the censors) bad lines...screw them...they're being paid to ruin every good movie...sometimes being over conservative stops development...well we're here where we are decades ago...
anyway...lets not let them spoil our day(thats their objectives, by the way)...
so lets get through with it n go for something happier...
well, i had steambout with a few of my friend...using the left over food from our last bbq party...n the good news is, it's still edible n i'm ok...n we had fun i guess...
n this sunday i'm going for a paintball game...
isn't it great?...yea...!!!i know...
but expensive...but it's fun n it worth the pain...
pray that i can have some killing spree...
n that they can survive...
let the killing begins...
wahahahahaha....!!!!

slowing down...a little...

2008-10-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

it's been a pretty slow week lately...
time moves slowly...at the same time fast...i really can't tell...
but it's dull...slow...like what i said i wanted...
but too slow...from hiking to jogging to movies...even clubbing...
suddenly my fren wanted a study...gosh...
it's like suddenly my life is surrounded by books...
not a bad thing...but...it gives me the sense of losing touch with life...
my life of'cuz...going out at night less...
no movies...no movies...no movies....
what a dumb week...no movies....geez...but nex week is gonna be good...
since tropic thunder is coming out....so....i'll start asking ppl out to watch it...
it's gonna be great...ben stiller...jack black...robert downey jr...what could possibly make this movie bad...?
well...speaking of which...
i did watch movie this week...(if not...i'de be sitting alone in a white room with strapjacket around me)
disaster movie...the movie is jz like the name...disaster...
it couldn't be worst...well not counting previous "movie" movie....
but one thing in it standsout from the others...
a really hot hot hot hot hot n stunningly beautiful Vanessa Minillo...
guys out there...for the sake of perfect beauty u must watch this movie...
but...still the movie suck in a way that it's not as bad as meet the spartans...n epic movie n others...which Vanessa is not in it...
well my exciting life ends here where i last met Vanessa n is madly in love with her...hahahaha...jkjk....i wish....
well...but now i'm back to going back to college to meet up with them guys to do some study...hmm...i wonder...how can i make it more exciting...
with books...!!!i'm going crazy...stop listening to me n go to sleep....
good nite...

it's a loud week...

2008-10-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

yet another week that i can really tell tales about...
it all start of back when i went to a hike over with my NS frens to kerachut...
n damn that memory of not getting my favourite sleeping hut is still in my mind...
anyway...that very day they asked me to go clubbing...on wednesday...
for a moment there i was like..."HOLY CRAP....!!!"
well on wednesday morning jz when i thought that it's jz a plan...a msg from Kate confirming that it's on...did gave me a "HAIZ..."
well since, er...erm...oh well...i've never been clubbing b4...
never thought of going, never wanted to go, always jz say no when asked me to...well this time it's them well it's ok than i guess...
never really is that loud music kinda guy...
well so i went with a tot saying..."lets make this an experience..."
and it was...1st i had to crowd myself with alot of ppl under the heart pounding loud music which kinda make me hard to breathe at 1st...
well than we find no place to sit...so they decided that we went on to the dance floor...n gosh...this is my 1st...another "OH CRAP...!!!"i have been watching step up n so...but it's nothing like it...but...after a moment i did kinda let myself into the music abit...a move abit...but still not good...seemingly that the para para mechine hasn't been able to really train my moves...haha...never really did have my moves anyway...
than comes the bad part...i went on to drink with an empty stomach...
n so...my stomach was pain like hell...when i walk i can see ppl moving sideways...n the floor...shaking...i was like..."OH CRAP...i'm not drunk am i..?!!!"..but than i figured it's jz my stomach...but still it hurt so bad...i vomit...by the street...most probably the ppl there think that i'm some dude who drinks untill he drop...crap...
anyway...later on i went back home safe but smelly...
it was quite an experience...n kinda painfull too...but still i have to admit the dancing was quite fun...n i saw some ppl who really did show some funny moves...but it's all only to express themselves...
but when ask again to go...i'll think more than twice...for sure...
haha...

well heres the topic i like...movies...
i watched painted skin with my fren before i went to the club...
i can say that i wasn't that bad...but not very good...
quite enjoyable...worth the money i paid...n the story is simple n straight...
or we can say it's jz another typical chinese films...that is not that bad...
n than, the next day after i went clubbing i went to watch house bunny...
now, i can say it's been some time since i really had a good laugh in a movie...the rest are jz some meaningless so called comedy that tried to be funny with ridiculously idiotic script n action...
house bunny is different...if u ask me...i'de say u definitely must go for it...
it's funny, it's sexy, it's good...

well as for today...i kinda wasted time..doing nothing...
geez...i'm gonna hit the wall someday...n it's gonna be pain...
but till than...i've gotta go...it's 3 in the morning...u guysshud be sleeping too...haha...

another great week

2008-10-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

tired tired tired...
this 2 weeks has been a really really tired week...
1st my fren came back from KL...
than NS frens called me...
than frens asked me out...
i've been going out again n again n again...
games, bbq, bbq, hiking..jogging...all stuff...
but it's kinda fun...but tired...
really tired...
so i think i shud be slowing down now...
not as young as i used to be...haha...
well i had 2 bbqs in a row...
than frens asked me to jogg in the morning days later...
n after that we planned to go to Kerachut...
the hike wasn't that bad...
jz like the usual...but this time...
i dun get to sleep there...
theres this bunch of ppl having camps n is using my favourite hut...
my favourite sleeping hut..!!!
the best spot to sleep...
geez...but than and so i went down to the beach with them...
and we went back by boat...
after a light meal...we went our on our own ways...
after i sent Rose back i went for a movie with my frens...
Eagle eye...
damn...that movie was great...
if batman wasn't out this year...it'll be the best...
or if heath ledger wasn't dead...it'll be the best...
but the odd's against eagle eye...so i guess batman will dominate the oscars...
n i'll be on my way now to some important stuff...
jz bought a g gundam anime...
going to finish some tonite...
bye bye...

quite a "beautiful" week...

2008-09-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

well well...what is beautiful this few days...
lets see...well, i met someone that is real hot...
serious beauty...no joke...but it's all for the eye...

than another beautiful thing is this series that i've been watching...
moonlight resonance...it has a beautiful ending...
almost bring tears to my eyes...

speaking of tears to the eye...alot of things do make me feel like flowing my tears out...
specialy a good steak...can't resist a good steak...
a great movie...something that makes me go whao...!!!
a good song...which to me it means that the song mean something...not jz the same ol' love songs(specialy chinese ones)...
well i feel like i have so much to tell...yet so little to write down...
running out of ideas...
i wish i could jz tell the world how i feel, like what this blog is really meant for...
but mere mortals like me keep secrets...which to hide myself from shame...
anyway, u wun be listening to anything happening here...
i'm out of happening thoughts...

n i'm planing a bbq for this coming sat...with my friends...
anyone interested..?(y wud i want to ask here...geez...!!!)
n last sat is my friends bday...
in which that day i met this hot girl...which i dun really know...
but good for my eye...something special out of the regular makes the world better...haha...jkjk...but true...
n this coming sat...i'm still wondering what would happen....
but for now...a raining night...i'm off...not yet to bed...
but to find myself a good movie...to tears for...haha...

jie's back...

2008-09-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

WHAO...look at all the dust in here...
has anyone been cleaning up this web...?
guess not...

well well...i stopped before i went to Hong Kong...
n that wud be month ago...
n what happened in this one month...?
lots of things happened...like...
my birthday...which...i think is still quite fun...
n erm...recently(yesterday)...i went out with my NS friends...
but it's only 5 of us...
it's raining all day long...n night...
watched Money no enough 2 for the second time but still some part still gets me...touched...
after that went for dinner...at...fettes park...western food...again...
apperently it's like nothing much left to eat in penang...although it's good food everywhere...eventually u'll start to run out of idea...
it's good to see them once in awhile...i mean friends...get to know how their life is...see them...jz to refresh our mind on how they look...it gets blurry sometimes...

well class starts tomorrow...or today...whatever...
n i can't sleep...
abit nervous...sincei switch places...to ATC...
enviroment wud not be the same...
but...jie will always be jie...
the enviroment doesn't change who i am...
i change the enviroment around me...
well get ready cuz i'll try to spice up ATC...
haha...chao...!!!

coming days...

2008-08-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

so many things happened these few weeks...
yet, i can't seem to put them in words...
it's rite there but it also seem empty...
oh well...lets jz let it past be the past...
well i'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow...!!!
with my uncle...
anyway...before i let it slip away again, i'm gonna write it all here 1st...
being kinda lazy these days...
n i got hooked to jogging...
i've been to youth park almost everyday...
thats a good thing...but i also been staying up late too...
that makes it even...haha...
life has been kinda easy going...
n in a few more days life is going to be old...
i'm going to be older...
n time flies like always...damn...
seriously if i can choose a power to have, i wud have chosen time freezing...
n now i really wanted to go to a normal class...
i'm dead serious...i wan to study...
well after the HK trip...
after my Birthday...
ahh...i'm running out of words here...
so...i'm gonna be back with more news when i come back from HK...
get ready HK, here i come to rock ur world...woohooo...!!!!

too little too late...

2008-07-21T00:47:00.000-07:00

life is fragile...
the second u see them, the next they're gone...
n yesterday i lost my grandfather...
than i realise oh...i never get to say goodbye...
or even jz to tell him i love him...
n i guess it was all to late now...
it's ironic that all the while we were looking for the one to love...
for the one to care...
we overlook those who is always there...
n than we feel sorry...when it's too late to be there...
i guess appreciation is there when nothing is there for us to appreciate...
n u know what...i got this new camera...
i got lots of camera in the past...
n than i heard them asking about my grandfathers picture...
n again i realise...with so many cameras, i have non of his picture...
it makes me wonder...how much i really care..?
tears did fell off my eyes...
not because the going of him...
it's because i realise i did too little when i happens to have too much time...
n all too late when too little we can do, too little we can say...
n theres no time left...
it's also very ironic that i got the see ppl hanging around his house...
ironic that death is what set us apart from them...
it's also death that for this moment hold everyone together...
letting us know that we still are family...
we still have the ones we love...
let us love everyone when we still can..
for when it's too late...
the next thing u know...
u'll be sitting around the graves of everyone...
love the world...
love life...

sleeping sane...

2008-07-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

jz came back from an apartment stay...
with frens from Borders...
quite a stay...can't really say it's the best...
but i guess it wasn't that bad...
the sea is as calm n as beautiful like always...
the wave moves me...with its beautiful melody...
for a moment there i feel free sitting alone by the sea...
looking at the dark horizon wondering whats beyond...
like life it's too far yet beautiful...
full of uncertainty...that makes it beautiful...

i guess i'm lost again...
heart full of doubt, full of envy, full of anger...
yet there is still this bit of content, this bit of calm, this bit of sense...
hopefully this bit of sanity can hold on...
ain't wan to do something i'll regret...
i still wan to be me...
i still wan to be free...
yet all those insanity makes me feel chained...
i wan to sleep...
close my eyes n let everything go...
when i wake up i'm all new...
when i wake up everythings done...
tired...
having everything means nothing without having to be free...
free from feelings...
i guess no one is free...
i guess no one can be free...
all i wan is to sleep...
feel free when i'm asleep...

i have no idea for the title....

2008-07-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

life is full of irony...
the next thing u know, u weren't urself at all...
life is too short to be too serious...
the next thing u know, u weren't noticing at all...
all those little stuff around u that makes it perfect...
oh well as life goes on...we learn new things, meet new people...
n today i've learned that humans are curious about everything yet often being ignorant about everything...
we know it's gonna happen, yet only fear when it arrives...
we know about the consequences, yet only regret when it happens...
we know the truth, yet magnifies only the evil...
we fear of bad things happening, yet we do it to someone else...
well, i'm a human also...n i dun see any improvement from myself not to mention hoping to see it happening on others...
i jz came back from quite a trip...
to genting highlands...well not as merry and happy and exciting as what i remember when i was little...maybe i know too much, and appreciate too little...as every men wud be...
well also went to KL...we it's a city, modern...hectic...hazzy...dirty...crowded...noisy...well thats probably what i can think of when ppl speak of KL...
and after i been there for like hundreds of times plus living there b4...it further confirms this thinking...well as glamorous as it can be...i dun see anything that impresses me...nightlife...?huh...apart from that can anyone tell me what other thing that KL can be better than Penang..?besides, clubs and beers are for those who knows no life...expensive stuff are for the rich and famous which in turn tries to show everyone that they are rich and famous by spending lavishly on things they dun really need and things probably to make ppl envy of...well u can say thats a poor man's talking...n the coldness of the ppl there...whao...n they think that its a good thing...n that they do not ask for discount and stuff...well...i'de say they're afraid of asking...fearing what ppl wud say that they are poor...so whats the point of pretending rich when u're not rich...well i'de probably find a reason to make my weakness looks like something great too...when i got nothing but my weakness and a mouth...well i guess i've said too much n probably gonna receive some "reasons and advice" from them people when this goes public...well hopefully it doesn't...
well good night...

in need of something...

2008-06-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

work work work work...
and finally after all those complaints and whinning about work...
i'm setting myself free...i quit...
meaning no extra income...
no extra spending...
no extra stuff...
but alot of extra time...
time to find myself...
time to be myself...
time to think of what lies ahead...
and what lies ahead is what scare me the most...
looking into the future...i see a void...an emptiness...
not even me myself can get myself to be serious...
yet fear lingers in me everytime i have nothing to do...
when i have no where to go...
when i have no one to talk to...
when i have nothing to do...
than i'll find something to do...
find someone to talk to...
trying my best to fill in the emptiness...
but everything i did may fullfill in momentarily...
it jz never goes away untill i've done something that i can say to everyone...and importantly myself that i've achieve something in life...
no jz hanging around...
bugging some poor soul...
n try to drunk myself from this torment...
sometimes all we really need to have is ourself...
but when u start losing it...its hard to u to get grip of urself untill u found that something that makes u, u...
n i'm desparately in need of something like that...
for now jz an empty soul living in the moment trying to figure out what life has to offer...n what can i do to find myself...
guess finding ourself is not as easy as it sounds like...
jz happens that i've again hike over to keracut today...still so beautiful...
n yet i feel that i can do more...
travel to places...explore...advanture...
hope that i can do more in life than jz being empty...

so tired of what life has to offer...

2008-06-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

how long since my last post...?
how long since i last said everything out...?
always tired...always wanting to do something...
yet always end with me doing nothing...
getting really tired of everything...
i want to say everything out...
i want to release everything...
i want to be free from everything...
it's hard for me to let everything out...
listening to songs...trying to sink myself with songs...
busy my mind with loads of things...
trying hard to retain the way i was...
i guess time jz never travel alone...
he always have stress and sorrow by his side...
also happiness...
yet stress and sorrow hits most of the time...
or maybe the hardest...
making me feel out of place...
making me...not me...
making me getting tired and tired and tired...
i jz want to close my eyes and listen to what life has to tell...
and offer...and what lies before me...
well i really need some light...
and a very long rest...
a long long rest...
i want to be free...
i want to be me...

the same ol' truth about me...

2008-04-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

miss me...?anyone...?hello...?!!!
what the heck...no one does...
but i certainly miss alot of writings...
not really in the mood this few days...been kinda tired...
out of things to say...almost as if life is as simple as nothing to say...
boring actually...
but i still have to spice up my life a lil bit by...
going to a movie...like...fool's gold...
which is very funny...
n some old stuff...which is...exciting...
hang out with frens n stuff...
doing things i do best...
actually it's kinda boring...
not as bad as sad...
jz not the kind i dream of living in...ever...which i already did...
so it's sad...
but i can't really deny that after knowing them jz a lil bit more...
working is kinda not that bad afterall...
jz that it's never as good...as being the old me...i guess...
well...i give up...jz have to face the truth that...
life kinda like suckier that last time...
n i'm now a very different person...different as in...life is not the same...
but i'm still me inside...
n one day i shall break free...
n u guys shall be free from listening to my bullshit...
well have to sleep now...working tomorrow...DUH...!!!
good nite n sweet dreams...

sweet day

2008-04-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

i watched 27 dresses today...
it's funny, sweet and...funny...
anyway i jz wanted to watch something nice...
i want movie...
i've had enuf of robotic life that i've been through...
well, it's not bad...since i'm getting along with them...
i'm starting to be the funny man or a jerk i am...but i always like to be who i am....sort of....kinda....i guess....
so finally something sweet today...(never thought that i'll said that ever....haha)
anyway....i'm not really the romance movie go-er....but this is not a bad one
nice actually...beautiful girl, handsom guys...n the beautiful new york city...
n the american life i always dreamed of living in haha....
well....hafta start thinking of now than future...so...i better be dreaming now...reality check tomorrow....

Too Late

2008-04-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

Too Late

i woke up this morning,
i looked to the world,
i smile and laugh,
i was all alone.

i remember the smile of childrens,
i remember the beautiful world,
i remember to smile and laugh,
i remember it was all gone.

i see sufferings and pain,
i feel sad and vain,
i see them crying,
i wasn't trying.

i miss those beautiful smile,
i miss the beautiful world,
i miss the chance i had,
i miss helping the lives i can.

now i have everything,
yet having everything means nothing,
when all that i have,
cannot change for the beautiful world i had.

-JIE-

a lil work of mine...
the world is always a beautiful place...life is beautiful...
do something before we lost everything...

the traveler

2008-04-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

n again i'm in the mood for writting...
life is sooooo boring these days....work sleep work sleep...
i'm yearning to have the free life i had...
to be who i used to be...but sadly we jz never can be who we used to be...
i always have this dream of being great...to be someone...
now...being who i used to be is what i want...
but i still have this lil dream going on...
being a traveler...to truely live a free life...
the adventure...
the life...
the freedom...
well i'll take this time around as a challenge of life...save my money...n aim for the world...
but again thats a plan n a dream...it's gonna be hard...but it's gonna be fun...
well if we're gonna dream, why not dream big...
work hard...stay sharp...save money...aim big...the world...
anyway kinda like the name traveler...it gives the mystrious...
the legendary traveler jie...thats who i'm gonna be...haha...
like i said dream big...
anyway...going to bed...due to the fact that i'm still a human n a human needs rest...n u too...bye

the day i walked up the graves...

2008-03-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

yet another day...but it's a happy, fun and good day...
it's the time of the year that i really love..."cheng beng"(i have no idea what it is in english)
anyway this is the time of the year where i get to hop on graves searching for my ancestor's grave, it's like a maze...n of'cuz with the whole bunch of family members...
cutting grasses under the hot sun, arrange those yellow n white papers...
it's alot of fun...tho it's a lil hot, but...nothing beats a good o "hike up the grave"...
anyway had lunch after that...with the whole bunch of them...(families)
all i can say is...i love this time around...well a lil less than chinese new year, n i know u know y...
well going back to normal life tomorrow...or abnormal...anything...
n i've jz learned one new thing from a tv advertistment, life without dream...is a job...
n i'm doing my job...geez...where have my dream gone...?
anyway...going to get paid soon...n hopefully i know what i'm going to do with it...n how i'm going to do it...
n i guess...i'll jz have to wait till tomorrow...n see how's life going to turn out to be...

mind talking...

2008-03-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

DANG...!!!so since when did i last had fun...?
no idea...probably days, weeks, even months...years r too long, i'de be dead by than...
maybe all i need is a good rest, keep my mind fresh, n have a great start on everything...
paint myself a picture...play some good games...
nah...i probably need to keep my head right...before i start turning to all that i defy before than...
no stress...the funny thing is, there is no stress...
nothing...numb...
well probably its the work thing going on...killing all my good brain cells...
n now i'm seriously talking to myself...
maybe i shud start reading...its a good thing...i think i really shud...
i mean i really are into books nowadays...
maybe it's the work thing again...but it's a good thing...i think...?!
n now...i think i'm done...i mean talking to myself...
seriously getting tired...sleepy...
n in a few hours time i have to get to work...
better keep my self fresh till than...
maybe half fresh since i have so little time to sleep...
oh well, hopefully they're all prepared for the zombie attack tomorrow...

2008-03-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

my life lately, to all my friends...

2008-03-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

i'm alrite, i'm fine, but little less than happy.
life is fine, life is simple, but little less than happy.
i'm working now, part-time, and borders book store where it is.
starting to get very busy, life is now a routine.
work, sleep, work, rest, work, sleep...
i gain new friends, yet felt a little less closer with the old ones.
alot less...i guess...
i miss my old life, old friend, i miss the taste of freedom i had.
maybe freedom is still with me but yet i'm too tired to reach for it.
very tired...i guess...
i used to check my mails n friendster n my blog...
now, time is all i have to get some sleep.
i miss those time when i run around school playing catch,
fighting is a game, girls n money...nothing more than fun n friends.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss those time when i run around school playing skip classes,
life is a game, girls n money...they seem a lil more important there days.
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i run around the field because i was forced to,
being dirty is a game, girls n money...well having it that time seem useless...
time change, i change, everything changed...
than i miss time when i would run around town searching for good food and being late,
driving is a game, girls n money...well, the more the merrier...
time change, i change, everthing changed...
now...i wud run around house n work trying not to be late,
sleeping is a game, girls n money...too tired to think of any...
time change, i change, everything changed...
i'm sorry if i'm not the same...
i'm sorry if life is being cruel...
i'm sorry if everything can never be the same...
to all my friends...
even if everything does change,
our friendship is immortal,
and time are just numbers.

the real me

2008-02-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

been wondering that where the heck did this bugger go...?
he talks alot about how beautiful life is...
how much he wanted the world to be...
how great he would be...
n how strong he is when facing problems...
but basically thats all bullshit...i'm jz trying to create a whole new world of my own in here so that i wun feel that bad, at least to make me happier...

since young i'm not much of a "saying out my problem" type of person, everything is much like "my problem, my headache, my pride" haha, yea i know how stupid i am. The problem is, i'm still one. I kind of like hide alot of things when it come to my life, i dun admit to certain problems which i thought embarrasing, i tend to hide the fact that my life is jz not as wonderfull as many think of, but the fact is my heart is gushing with alot alot alot alot of emotions and i dun really like to share these problem with people because i think it wun be that great about me, its even worst turning to my parents for that cuz they most likely thinks that i'm wrong n then when we argue they tend to always thinks that they're right, yea i know they're older n wiser but that doesn't make them god, they're not all right all the time.
Then i start writting blogs hopefully to free myself, but sadly even words through wrtting are too fake to be true n even writtings are full of lies n nothing in here are making sense of my life i'm not being who i am, i'm creating a whole new jie here, one in which he has a better life than the real me, n the sad fact is i'm not as strong as what i hoped to be, but for honor sake for pride sake i lied. remember how much i said about never giving up? well i gave up on things all the time, like when i was young i gave up piano, than i gave up on sports, i gave up trying to do something, i even gave up to games that i can't finish, so basically i'm a bag full of shit, Bullshit.
so y the sudden urge to face something, y the sudden urge to admit to something. i know i'm a coward but hopefully i'm doing something real n true for once,lettting u guys know not to trust what u see, many illusions are created jz to make u feel amaze, but the real sad fact in life is, it can never be beautiful untill you realize the fact that life is not about holding on to something, but letting it go. thats what i'm trying to do letting go of everything in me, for once trying to be the real me infront of everyone.

too much thought, too little guts to do

2008-01-26T07:23:00.000-08:00

i have alot in mind, too much to be kept it all to myself yet to important to let it out. i dunno, i guess i'll jz have to put my mind into something else.
i have this crazy idea, n i dun know what shud i do about it...hm...of'cuz it's not something bad or evil but it's kinda stupid to be jz right...i'm out of my mind...alot alot alot alot more things in my mind now...not stress out cuz i dun stress that easily but kinda like it's pulling my mind not knowing what to do n coin toss jz can't tell me what to do anymore...i feel like talking to someone but yet i'm too too too lazy to say hi...geez...i'm so tired yet eyes to wide to jz sit back n relax my mind full of actions yet my body is too heavy to move...ARGGHHHHHH...!!!!

n again bad things always happen the split second u think of it...n the good thing...?well the moment u plan for the worst, the good things disappear n let all the fun for the bad stuff...tell me is that a challenge an obstacle or a joke from above...?geez...life is full of what u can't imagine but still even if life throws me a rotten apple i'll dodge n take it n throw it back...i wun bow to fate i control fate, my fate...

well though not everything is being let out but i still feel slightly better...atleast better than before...so i'll come again when i feel like i'm going to kill someone...haha....

dooms day

2008-01-21T10:39:00.000-08:00

are you lonesome tonight...~~..nah...not really...jz kinda nervous i'm probably gonna get my results tomorrow n i can't really sleep, i'm even more nervous than going out with some hot chicks...DARN..!!!whats gotten into my mind...tomorrow will be judgement day either it wud be heaven or hell for me...well i have a lil confidence this time...but yet the more confidence i have the more i fear...geez...speaking of mixed feelings...but it's also a good news cuz i've been anxious for this moment since the very 1st day i took the exam...well jz came back home, went out with few friends trying to relax ourself abit...but clearly it's not working very well i'm still awake...trying to crap my heads out...

well i watched a tv drama jz now, i can't remember it's name...acted by myolie wu n bosco wong...i think u know which one i'm talking about...well, after watching the drama it was like i know everything cuz obviously they're acting infront of me n i shud have known it for sure but inside they jz keep misunderstanding each other(not for real in mean in the series), finally for so many year i realised that outsider really can see things clearer than whos involved in that matter...but still we always thinks that we understand things more than any one else in this tiny lil world...but hey, who wud want to listen to an outsider...?maybe i'll try to listen nex time...

i guess this is what i'm feeling n thinking n doing today...what else...nothing...ok than i'll leave the rest of my life to ur imagination...but dun dream of something bad about me...u'll jz end up dissapointing urself...till than...catch ya nex time...

the greeeeeeen stuff....

2008-01-17T05:15:00.001-08:00

do u see some green stuff comin of my hair do u...?well i do...and it's all over my back saying...B.O.R.I.N.G....thats it boring, at 1st i thought i was GNIROB cuz i was looking at the mirror, i was like "what the hell"...oh, than i realise that it shud be boring instead of gnirob, if it mean something to anyone...well, the point is i'm so bored that green stuff growing of my back saying boring...man..i wish class starts faster cuz i need to use my brain for something...

well back before class ended before new year, i wud wake up every morning trying to look good for the day, shinnin my shoe, lookin into the mirror, wash myself up...hoping to look my best...for the nice n shinny day...but now, i woke up everyday in the afternoon, waiting for time to pass n than watch TV, i feel my senses rotting everyday, i feel my bones hard enough to beat the drum n i feel stupid everyday...what the...it's new year...!!!geez...really wish i'm good for something...which i am but i can't think of any jz yet, cuz most of my time are spent sleeping...

n again i hike to pantai kerachut with my frens...it's a nice n shinny day like everyday cept' that i woke up earlier(i din actually sleep at all) we went there hike all the way to the beach n it was jz us, the beach is all ours, we had our meals n than we went to sleep in the nice cooling hall there...it's really cool very very cool i could sleep all day, untill my fren wake me up to dive into the sea...we found a nice cool spot to lay stuff around n than i jump into the sea n sit...thats it sit...n enjoy the view n the sea...n than they saw this jellyfish swimming up shore man i'm shocked, the memory of the electrifying sting of the jellyfish scare me off shore so than i decided to sit back beside in this nice cool spot n again sleep...n than we went back to bath n than rest awhile n than hike our way back...we had our dinner at new world park...n after i went back home i felt soooo tire that i actually slept earlier...but again i woke up at 2 today...man it's in my blood...dang...!!!

oh well this is my life, oh n one more thing the game plan was nice, watch it...n again...i'm going back to the TV...till than u might see the green thing all over my head....bye...

part 2 2007 wrapper....

2008-01-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

well this probably shud be part 2...ok than it's part 2 of my last post...but it's gonna be short i'm not really in the mood for long boring words pouring down on ur poor soul, i'm feeling good today...

after the camp...i think it shud be the christmas party that i shud be talking about...well, it was nothing big, it's something more of a small bbq party with some frens n thats it...that shud be it...oh n i have to send one of my fren's family to the airport...in the morning...

than on new years eve i...went to my uncle's place having some fun happy new year gathering with all of my family members...it was great...good food which my aunt's fren cooked jzpanese food for us, well, she's from japan, actually married to japan...she's a family fren...with a cute daughter...i mean real cute cuz she's real young, probably 8 or something...after that went to meet my frens for the real crazy stuff...we went to BED...for some who dun know whats n wheres bed, well, it's a something like a place where young ppl hang-out with music n booze...as for ur info i'm not a booze kind of guy, but had some cocktail stuff back there...after that we went to lio's for some drinks again...n than to a mamak for some chill n food...nothing beats mamak after a long night of craziness...jz like everytime me n my fren's finished gaming n the next stop is mamak...

well that kinda wrapped up everything i did b4 2008...n now it's 2008...one fine year to start with...hopefully i'm gonna make changes this year...hopefully this year there is more advanture...n less heartbreak...n everyone lives happily ever after...n tune in for whats up for year 2008...thank you...bye....

by the way i'm not a camera guy...so i'm sorry that u jz gotta imagine what i've done thus far...i'll try to change this year...

2007 wrapper part 1

2008-01-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

oh happy new year guys...!!!
now it's time for me to wrap up things that i've done last year...
oh ya i stopped at the Bangkok holiday, so i'll continue from there...so after that nothing real big actually happened so me n my frens decided that we'll camp out at kerachut for a night, finally my dreams come true, to really camp out in the wild or beside the sea...here goes the story that is truely one great memory for me for the rest of my life...

well the story goes like every other story, it start of with a sunny day, me, wei yang, n weng yew is going to start our journey to do n to try what most teenagers today would not do, we're going to camp...well u may think that kerachut is not a big deal, but...it'll get exciting later on...

n so we went to the place where we would register to go for camping at the registration area...n guess what...we can't camp at kerachut cuz it's fully booked, n the only option left is monkey beach n teluk kampi...well since we went to monkey beach b4 n it wasn't a good idea to go again n than going back is not really an option at all, so we went to teluk kampi...it's near kerachut so we figured that it wun be such a hard hike at all, but it's more than hard it's nightmare...but a sweet one...an advanture most boys would wan to do, specially after we watched national treasure...so than after more than an hour hike we reahced kerachut...it was an easy hike, we rest for a moment, n than we continue on we dun wan to trap in the forest in the middle on the night...well we start of by searching for the way to teluk kampi...it was a small small small pathway...n a very very very steep one...it is one hack of a hike so hard that i nearly give up...seriously if u try it once u wun wan to do it again, it wud be easy if we're well equiped or well prepared...but the fact is we weren't me n wei yang are wearing sandals n slippers n than we have to carry sleeping bag n tent n a bag of nasi kandar that we bought earlier for our dinner haha...yup we din have any cooking gear, we jz brought our shirts n tent n ourself, n i din even bring my tower so u know how hard the hike wud be...ok back to the hike...it was hardcore till the end...but we still manage to follow the markings that show us to kampi for awhile...yup for awhile...we got lost after hiking down some way n lost track of the markings...n we reach a cliff or something like that but a short one so we decided to climb down the cliff n move along the coast so i climbed down 1st n than they wud slowly pass things down n than we wud come down slowly one by one...we managed to clear level one...n there is level 2 ahead though it looks easier but i think it's much harder than the last one...n i slipped but the fall wasn't too bad...but when i reach the low land i found out that i'm burned by the stupid caterpiller that i saw earlier when i climbed down the cliff...n it was burning n it feels jz like a jelly fish sting but no use crying in the middle of no where...but...we finally see water...it's the sea...so we jumped along the rocks besides the sea slowly one by one we jumped n finally we reach our destination...n it's paradise...it's beautiful, n it makes all the hardwork worth while we rest for awhile n we saw 2 people camping so we decided to be their neighbour n we set up our tent beside them...after that i m so tired that i straight away sleep in the tent leaving wei yang n weng yew to do their stuff...they explore the place n play by the sea...n when i woke up, well i joined them for awhile...n than we went to bath at a river...they have this barrel thing that store waters from the river so we bath there...n it is like the best bath i ever had maybe i'm too dirty n the water is so cooling it makes me feel so alive...after that it's time to have dinner, it's time for nasi kandar...hahaha...yea the nasi kandar is still with us n it taste soooo good, i guess i was jz too hungry...after that we talked for awhile...n when it turn dark we went inside the tent n sleep...it's not really a very good night sleep but we still manage to get some rest...n b4 i really sleep i looked up to the sky n i saw the most beautiful stars ever...it was like in NS time but this one...it's a real adventure's star...so beautiful that it's like telling me that i've done something, i've achieved something...but right after that i fell into a good night sleep, that is not so good...but we still manage to sleep for 12 hours from 8 at night to 8 in the morning...n than it's time for breakfast...a piece of bread...n thats it...n we n our neighbour figured that it wud be best if we hitch a boat ride to kerachut n than only we hike back cuz the hike is really very very hard...n the lost memory is still fresh in our minds...so we went on a kind fisherman's boat n he fetch us back to kerachut with the price of 20 bucks...well he needed to fuel his boat, so it's reasonable that we pay him for the trouble cause, well we rest for awhile at kerachut n wei yang n weng yew decided to go watch some turtles n i decided that i'll wait for them...while i was waiting for them, a family of some malay people asked for my help to build their tent, so i went to help them...n they gave me some ketupat as a reward...haha...jz what i need for breakfast haha...after they came back n we rest for awhile more, we than hit the road...n...what that is interesting is that a dog guided on our way back to it stopped when we stopped n it move when we say go...how nice of him...well at least we have another accompany us back...

finally we reached civilisation...n the 1st thing in our mind is food...so we went to new world park for....char koey teow...n...duck rice...my god it was good...after that we went back...home...n sleep....haha....thats it....

n now i feel tired...i'll finish wrapping things up on my next post...bye...
n good night...i really have to hit the sack...

so beautiful yet so regretful...

2007-12-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

good morning...

today i'm going to tell a whole lot about stuff that happened for the last 1 week...
i went to Bangkok for like 4 days n 3 nights...well, it was fun...a shopping heaven, it sure is...lots of cheap stuff, food, fashion stuff, n girls...i mean girl stuff...ah...whatever...!!!anyway went shopping...went to the crocadile farm, snake farm(well they have a big farm there...but...it's kinda empty, n they have alot less snakes compare to my dad's farm), n the safari(which the nicest place of all the place i been in bangkok)...i'm gonna cut the crap on the description, if u really wanna know how u can either ask me when u see me on9(but it's better if u dun...but i dun think any1 will anyway...)or u can go there n check it out urself....here comes the best part for the guys...they got lotsa chics over there if u know what i mean...yeah dude...it's awesom but the most i did is watch...i know i suck...but show me something better...n i love the food...nice...spicy...good food anyway...
well i can't really said that it's the best holiday but it's certainly a great one...n i got to stay in this cool tallest hotel in south east asia(but i'm not living on the top floor...but hey i get to visit the top floor n enjoyed the great buffet up there...i can't ask for more...)the place is jz beautiful...but some place is kinda dirty, n i saw this one kid begging...i can't help but to think that how much can i help?...but...i jz walked pass like everyone did...i did nothing...like everyone else i walked pass him, i felt so bad...the only thing that i regret doing is walking pass that lil kid...i walked pass him...i din even spare a penny of what i had, what makes me deserve the money more that he does...?n i've been saying alot about that stupid stuff of making the world a better place n the world a beautiful place...n i can't even spare some for those who needs it more than i do, i can't even lend a helping hand, now i can't really find a reason that i deserve more than he does, now i feel i'm more a hypocrit more than anyone else, i feel like a jerk...i'm not who i really think i am...i'm nothing more than any other who is selfish, nothing more than those who try to think of themself a good person, nothing more that a jerk...god bless that poor kid, n i can't ever forgive myself for being such...no one deserve any less than i do...yet all that i've done so far...is nothing but empty words...sorry....

i also watched national treasure...it was one of the best...love it alot...i'm not gonna spoil anything here...go watched it urself...n u'll love it...n than went to the christmas bbq party that me n my frens organized...it was fun, we talked alot...untill 4 something i guess...n than i went to another fren's place...n than i fetch his whole family to the airport...n than i sleep till 1 something this afternoon....

n than i went out to wei yang's house after i fetch kim hin, n we waited awhile for weng yu n then we all went to sunway carnival...to tell u the truth i was a dissapointment...nothing much to talk about over there...then we went to auto city, now that place is kinda beautiful, but small...we sat at starbucks for some coffee n we had some great times there chatting, i jz love it there at starbucks, the music, the coffee...the frens, the view...relaxing...n then we head to this hongkie restaurant, for dinner...well it was nothing much...kinda like a dissapointment too...ok yea...we chose the wrong place to eat...we than chat again for awhile...n than head back to the loveliest island of all..Penang...we than went to gurney plaza, after that walk around gurney drive, n than we decided to go penang road, but theres no place to park, so we than went to esplanade...than we head back home...n than i watched american pie that i lent from my fren, n than now i'm here writting my hearts out...

actually it is a beautiful week...but i've did something that i regreted...n now i realise i'm nothing more than those who speak empty words, i'm nothing more than a selfish hypocrit...sorry...

if santa ur're really hearing everything i'm saying...i'm not the one i said i am...n the lil kid there deserve so much more than i can even do in my life...if there is really a santa or someone, plz...give that kid the life he deserve, n give me nothing in return, i've had the luckiest life...i'm sorry...

merry christmas n happy new year everyone...share while u can, or regret being a selfish fool...

jie the jerk...

it's not my wedding...

2007-12-16T10:05:00.000-08:00

it's a sunday...yup it is...or...a monday...but...i'm writting for a sunday...so i guess that makes it a sunday...i mean here...

soooo....well i figured that i'll have to tell the story how i get this name for my blog...freedom-junkyard...well it's simple...here, it's like a junkyard full of my freedom...everything...me...my stuff...a junkyard...that is how the name is given...n it kinda sound cool i guess...(well at least to me it does...)

n...it's my step-cousin's wedding...he's my aunt's husband's ex-wife's son...so that makes him my aunt's step son...n my step-cousin...lets cut the crap...it's his wedding...bla bla bla...alot of ppl over there...alot of kids running around...it's kinda well....erm....a lil bit boring...but i'm happy they're happy...everyone's happy...it's a wedding...what else do u expect...?nothing but happy...n boring...it always does...well cept' for my cousin sis's wedding...it was...well...u know...she's rich...n she can afford a much better place...n i mean E&O...but it's all about my step-cousin's wedding today...so i ain't gonna spoil anything...well...as u all know it...i'm not much of a camera guy...i dun really do camera...i like nice picture...but i'm kinda lazy to take them...besides...there's like tons n tons of photographer over there...who needs me...?therefore there is no picture here to show how handsom is my cous' n how beautiful is his wife...n certainly nothing about me...or anyone else...u can imagine...u know...imagination is the best picture...the fairy tale palace n wedding...those beautiful gowns n dresses...white horse...beautiful rose...charming enviroment...superb view towards the sea...the sea breeze blowing...the smell of good food...great wine...beautiful music playing...n ppls dancing n smiling n cheering...n pretty ladies dance their way around having fun...little children playing...nothing but the most beautiful fairy tale wedding stuff...nah...!!!!it's jz another chinese wedding dinner...how i wish i could enjoy something beautiful...relaxing myself all the way...but...nothing beats a loud crowded chinese wedding...i'm still enjoying it...

thats basically everything that happened today...well...cept' for that fairy tale part...but...what can we expect more of...? lets be contented with life...we r who we r...craving for more makes less out of life...n i'm enjoying life...good night everyone...n sweet dream...let ur dreams n imagination turn wild tonite...once in a while...we need that to make life more advanturous....

jie...the dreamer guy...

Legend...

2007-12-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

i'm back...yea sure...cuz this place is new...n if...i mean if i have someone who really reads what i write, i dun wish to dissapoint them from the start do i....?(Booo....!!!!)er....ok.....

anyway...n again...i went to gurney to watch movie...with mark n joselyn...n we watched "I am Legend". if u ask if it was a good movie...i'de say it was a great one...n again will smith never....i mean never fails me when it comes to acting...he is what i look on to n say...u're cool...u're good...u're my hero...but...i heard there is some ppl who dun really appreciate the good work they've done for the movie...well i guess some are jz too dumb to understand a movie...they jz wan action, they jz wan some blood...well mindless dude...anyway...will is like so good at expressing n doing the emotions n all those stuff...he takes acting to a higher level...man i jz love his movie...ok...back to the movie...it is about the only person on new york who is immune to the virus which literally wipe out 90% of the population n the rest jz turn into some aggresive, iQ greatly lowered mutants(which i think they still are kinda smart though)that is highly sensitive to UV ray...which makes them more or less a vampire, but less charming n brains...but what took my attention the most is how Will portrays as the only man on earth...how the loneliness could turn someone to the edge, how losing an only friend(his dog) would it be...how things would be...he's done it so good which i doubt not jz any actor can...the whole thing is not merely about mutated humans n the only normal one chasing around n trying to kill each other n to survive...it's about the life the emotions the feelings n the strong will to live on...but i really doubt that many could understand...i always hate it when some ppl never really try to understand the hard work the actor n director n the script writer r telling us all the see is what they want to see, what they expect themself to see instead of what the director wanted us to see n what he wanted to tell us...n so those ppl jump into conclusion that the movie is bad...well, screw you...!!!jz that u're dumb doesn't mean that the movie is dumb...it's jz becuz ur brain can't understand anything...(disclaimer: i dun mean anyone specifically, i jz dun like it when ppl is like that)...n to my hero Will...u r a LEGEND...

N...well, Joselyn did said that i'm different in the net n in the real world...erm...it's jz that in real life we can't jz be anything we wan to be n do whatever we wanted to...n in here...i'm all the man i wan to be...sometimes i can't really tell if this is the real me or the person me is the real me...we have many personas(i dun mean the car...)we're different in different situation n facing different person...humans r too complicated that the think everything is complicated...well actually the many personas we have makes things so very very very complicated that sometimes we dun ever know our real self...but...man has been living this way since the very day human step on the face of earth...so...well...it's how we survive so far...haha...

oh i think thats all for now...i've said kinda like...too much...so i'll stop before i said something stupid...but...again i have to repeat this...Will...u're the best of the best...keep it up...!!!n screw those who never try to understand a movie...

good night n sweet dreams...

jie

The december opening...of jie's blog....

2007-12-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

dadadadadadadadadada.....!!!!(drums rolling)

well ladies n gentleman...welcome to the grand opening of my humble blog...
as a sign of gratitude of thanking anyone of u who come is for a friendly visit...i'm offering u all one in a life time chance....thats rite...u can only have this chance once in ur life...to..........neeeeeervous...?!!!haha...alrite....the chance to observe n read this grand opening for this blog of mine...

anyway back to the point...!!!
well....it seems that it's like the whole world have this blogspot stuff which they can share their stuff with so many...or maybe alone...whatever...i dun really care y u wan this thing for....but....i do really care that i'm up to date with some stuff....for example....having a blog which many has....
n here i am...!!!putting things here....i'm joining the club....yeah...!!!
(i hear someone saying...)"sure dude...who cares..."
=.=" well....anyhow...i'll try to fit in....

well lets start from what happened today....

oh...it was a usual day that i started up waking up so late in the noon...n then wandering my house like a wandering soul....have my lunch...n then of to the gaming thing again...
wait wait...before i forgot....jhun kiat came back...today....from uk....n...i went to pick him up with jon, his gal, ZC n his gal...n we gave jhun kiat a warm welcome...(er...maybe....)anyway...after that i went home...
after being sent home....i have to prepare myself to go to the pool party of my friend's college...well it's a hack of a party...u know the sort of party which u wud always ask....is it over...?or where is the food....when can we eat...?something like that...yea...there are some cute chics running around...which i dun know...n dun have the guts to know....i wonder is it be'cuz of my school that now i'm such a loser when it comes to communicating with girls...(well maybe it's myself....), but it all ended at 10...n yes...it's not like we're going home so early...n so we went to new world...a place that i actually like...cuz it's kinda relaxing over there...but...going back home...is a long ride...but i still like it there...n starbucks...!!!we went to starbucks...n i dunno what the hack is that "christmas blend" stuff...n i ordered it...it sounds merry...it sounds like christmas...it sounds like a FAKE...it's a kopi'o...with no taste...nex time....i wun fall for the name...damn....!!!but i still like it there...it's nice to sit there enjoy the view...the music...but i still got cheated....damn...!!!

oh n than i ended up finishing this blog....the grand opening...n today's stuff....n now i'm going to watch some tv...n some games later....n i'm gonna hit the sack...
oh n one more thing...for santa...i've been a good boy always...n this year...i want a ps3 with all it's game....a new phone....a new desktop....a new watch...new shoe....new clothe....new house....new car..........(n the list goes on)....(i'll think of it again n tell u later on my nex post....)

love....JiE...